What Else Can I Say About Dude?

Y'all know I have this unhealthy obsession with my boy Lil' Wayne, and this video ain't doin' me no favors:




What the hell is wrong with me?!?!?!?!

I can't help it!

I Still. Love. Weezy!

I'd lick the wrapper...And I can't apologize for that.

Another Rocket Scandal

Roger Clemens had a 10-year affair with certifiable country music "star" Mindy McCready!

Oh snap! Debbie ain't gonna like this...she's prolly beatin' Rog's ass AS. WE. SPEAK!

According to reports, The Rocket & The Psycho began their illicit relationship when he was 28-years-old and she was only 15! (Miley, are you listenin'?!?!) The two met at a karaoke bar. Oooh, classy.

The inevitable "multiple sources" knew of the alleged affair that carried on when Clemens pitched for the Boston Red Sox, Toronto Blue Jays, New York Yankees & Houston Astros.

Dayum, girl! You kept him comin' back through 4 teams?! You must have gold coins fallin' outta that shit!

Rog is suing former trainer Brian McNamee for defamation ('member his interview with crypt keeper Mike Wallace that aired back in January?). Well, McNamee & team thinks that if you claim you've been "defamed" by someone and that you have a spotless reputation, "anything is fair game", so they're lashin' back at The Rocket for his philandering.




The Debster knew McCready and was aware that the "singer" had flown on Rog's plane. Wha??? How you gonna let a trashy tramp like Mindy McCready fly on your husband's plane, without you bein' there to piss on his leg & mark your territory??



(Wonder what Dean Cain thinks about this hot mess...?)

McCready has a 2-year-old son, Zander Ryan. I'm sayin' DNA TEST! DNA TEST! SWAB IT UP, BITCHES!! TEST THAT SHIT OUT! IT'S ROGER'S 5TH SON!

Oh yea, by the way.........how's that "private sector" treatin' ya, Rog!?




And since I'm bitchin', why don't we work on cleanin' up this little mess.

I Heart Pierre

Awww. This melts my cold black heart.

Pierre, the African Penguin who lives at the California Academy of Sciences in San Francisco, has lost his waterproof feathers that keeps him warm in cold waters.

The scientists at the CAS felt bad for the little guy so they created a wetsuit that Pierre can wear while playin' with his homies in the tank.



The 25-year-old flightless, aquatic bird has lost so many of his feathers that his pink hiney has become exposed, making it uncomfortable for him to swim in the chilly water.

"We were really excited to do it," said Teo Tertel, marketing specialist aOceanic Worldwide, who are one of the biggest manufacturers of wetsuits worldwide. "We heard most of these penguins only live to 20, and our little buddy there was already 25. Anything we could do to help them, we were all for it."

With the help of the wetsuit that he's been wearing for the last several weeks, he's been able to frolic with the other hotties, he's gained some weight and some of his feathers have even begun to grow back. He's now able to take short dips in the tank without the suit.

Pimp!

Click here to see more pictures of the hot piece, Pierre.

Fellas, Start Your Engines

This is your lucky day, boys!

Australian researchers have found that men who masturbated more than 5 times a week were 1/3 less likely to develop prostate cancer.

So don't think of it as chokin' the chicken, think of it as...."cancer prevention"! Break out the K-Y and GO. TO. TOWN.

Do it for your health! Viva la Prostate!

Congrats, Smoltzie!

This man is a machine!!!!!!

It's not like the DL is a total stranger to John Smoltz, so when you look at his career stats...crazy! To say the least, he's a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer, fo sho!

210 wins (15 in the postseason, the most in history)
154 saves
3.25 ERA

And last but not least: 3,006 strikeouts!

Congratulations to you, Mr. Smoltz. Welcome to the 3,000 SO club!

I was listenin' to the game on XM tonight when I was comin' home from a PTO meeting (yes, you're lookin' at the newly-inducted Secretary of the PTO, thank you very much). Anyhoobs, Skip Caray & Pete Van Wieren threw out a stat that shocked me: Smoltz is only 1 of 4 pitchers to reach 3,000 strikeouts while wearin' only 1 uniform.

Walter Johnson (Washington Senators), Bob Gibson (St. Louis Cardinals) and Steve Carlton (Philadelphia Phillies) each struck out 3,000+ hitters while with only 1 team.

That stat amazed me! I can see how Johnson was with the same club way, waaaay back in the day (1907-1927), because then it wasn't all about money-grubbin' hos, and teams didn't trade folks around like crazy. And even in the Gibson/Carlton days, players stayed put most of the time.

But NOWADAYS, dayum! Errbody's movin' all over the place -- team to team, league to league.

That is quite an accomplishment, and I commend you, Atlanta Braves. I commend you for not bein' complete f*ck ups and tradin' this gem that is known as John Smoltz. Ever. Thank you.

I just wanted to share this little tidbit that I found on wikipedia. If Ty Cobb really did, in fact, speak these words about Johnson, then bitch shoulda been a Harlequin romance novelist after he retired. Such attention to detail! Hot, hot, H-O-T!!!

Ty Cobb recalled his first encounter with the rookie fastballer:

"On August 2, 1907, I encountered the most threatening sight I ever saw in the ball field. He was a rookie, and we licked our lips as we warmed up for the first game of a doubleheader in Washington.

Evidently, manager Pongo Joe Cantillon of the Nats had picked a rube out of the cornfields of the deepest bushes to pitch against us...

He was a tall, shambling galoot of about twenty, with arms so long they hung far out of his sleeves, and with a sidearm delivery that looked unimpressive at first glance...

One of the Tigers imitated a cow mooing, and we hollered at Cantillon: 'Get the pitchfork ready, Joe-- your hayseed's on his way back to the barn.'...

The first time I faced him, I watched him take that easy windup. And then something went past me that made me flinch. The thing just hissed with danger. We couldn't touch him...every one of us knew we'd met the most powerful arm ever turned loose in a ball park."

Awesome! Tall, shambling GALOOT! I fuckin' lovez it!

Again, congrats, John Smoltz.

You. Are. A. Gawd!

Seahawks To Alexander: Sayonara!

Holy shit! Shaun Alexander was released today by the Seattle Seahawks, barely 2 years after signing an 8-year $62,000,000 contract. That's 62 MILLION dollars, kiddies!



Why the hell couldn't I have been born clairvoyant? Last summer I kept him as one of 2 franchise players for my fantasy football team?!

If I'd seen with my 3rd eye that he was gonna be all geriatric and either sit his broke-down ass on the sidelines and then eventually play with a cast on said geriatric ass, I wouldn't've taken this ho.

(And we won't even TALK about the dramz with my "other" franchise dude...let's not go there.)

Just 3 seasons ago, Alexander was the league MVP with 1,880 rushing yards and a record 28 touchdowns. The last 2 seasons combined, pepaw only had 12 TDs.

Alexander should use his free time to start some athletic and/or educational programs for under-privileged youth. Oh, he already has, say you? Well does he need any help?

I hear Frank Thomas' fossilized, outta work, has-been, dried up ass needs somethin' to do with hizself.

Save The Dinosaur: Frank Thomas Out Of A Job!

Toronto Blue Jays DH Frank Thomas ran his mouth on Saturday after he was benched in favor of Matt Stairs.

On Sunday, Thomas was released by the team. DRAMZ!

"I'm angry, I know I can help this team. My career isn't going to end like this," he said before Saturday's game.

He refused to shake hands with his teammates following the Jays' win over the Detroit Tigers and hit the road early without talking to reporters.

Manager John Gibbons had told pepaw that he'd ride the pine a lot more this season because he needs more production from the slugger. Thomas was hitting .167 with three homers and 11 RBIs in 60 ABs.

Blogger's note: How can a guy produce if his ass is on the bench, Mister Manager? M'just sayin'.

Thomas was pissed because he thought the team was tryin' to screw him out of $10 millionz. His option for 2009 kicks in only if he achieves 376 at-bats in 2008. Obviously, if he's not in the lineup, he ain't battin'. Oh snap!

GM J.P. Ricciardi told Peter Gammons that pepaw's release was "by mutual consent...handled with class." Mmm hmm.

By the way, Stairs went 2-for-3 with an intentional walk Saturday.

WTG, Chuck James

In his first start after being recalled from the minors, Atlanta Braves pitcher Chuck James allowed only 4 hits by the Los Angeles Dodgers today. One of those hits was a homerun by Andruw Jones* (his first of the season). *More on Druw below.



James actually dropped his ERA from 18.00 to 7.87, and evened his record at 1-1. The Braves won 4-1 and will be pullin' out the brooms tomorrow afternoon.

Woo hoo!

I am in no way hoppin' on the "Chuck"-(band)wagon (haha, funny) but I just wanted to acknowledge that I was wrong about him possibly pitching like shit today.

Since the Braves have actually put together a string of good games, winning 5 of our last 8 and 3 in a row, I was expecting the other shoe to drop this afternoon. That's typically what happens with my team -- kick ass for a few games, get my hopes up, then they lose 3 or 4 in a row.

I know they "can't win 'em all", but when these dudes get ugly, THEY. GET. UGLY.

Oh, Yunel Escobar is ridin' a 12-game hiting streak into tomorrow, the Braves've only allowed 2 runs in the last 3 games, and Chipper Jones is hittin' .6-0-9 in his last 7 games. Niiiiice!

*Druw has been shown nothin' but love since he's been back in ATL this weekend. Not only did he park is car in the Braves lot today (without gettin' the boot by security), but his parents got to enjoy the game from John Smoltz's luxury box. And after his homer today, the classy ATL fans gave him a standing ovation.

We all still love you, Druuuuuuw! It just ain't right seein' you in Dodger blue....

Scary Moment For Sandra Bullock

This coulda been so much worse than it was.

Sandra Bullock and her hubster, Jesse James, were hit head-on by a drunk driver last night and both vehicles were totaled. Luckily, they were both traveling at a slow rate of speed, only around 15-20 mph. No one was injured.




Sixty-four-year-old memaw, Lucille Gatchelle (above), blew a .20 on the breathalyzer and was arrested at the scene for drunk driving. Dayum!

Don't drink & drive, people!!!!!

From Bad To Worse

Atlanta Braves left-handed hurler Tom Glavine was placed on the 15-day DL Friday night for the first time in his 22-year career. Poor Tommy's got a strained hammy so they wanna give him some more rest.

But the news is even worse than that: Chuck James was recalled from Triple-A Richmond and will start today's game against Andruw Jones and the L.A. Dodgers.

As I told you earlier, Chuckie (and his 18.00 ERA) had been abandoned to the minors. The minors, where I had hoped he'd remain until we all forgot about him. That didn't happen.



I know our pitching situation is dire right now, so I'm sure our options were very limited when looking for a Glavine replacement...I shouldn't complain. But I will.

I don't think I'll even listen to this crap on WGST. I wouldn't be able to handle the heartbreak in the voices of Pete Van Wieren and Skip Caray when Chuckie fires up the launching pad that is known as home plate at The Ted.

Just Another Saturday Night For Me

Those silly, back-stabbin' Russians.


(Mikhail Baryshnikov, Russian ballet dancer, not associated with this story whatsoever, but he's the only Russian I know.)

Some dude got shit-faced, argued with his drinkin' buddy, passed out, was stabbed by said drinkin' buddy at the factory where they worked, rode the bus home, ate a honkin' breakfast, then passed out (again) with the knife still buried in his back.

Wha???!?!?!?! Does the factory know these booze hounds were imbibing while OTJ?

Oh, what am I sayin'? They probably work at the STOLI factory. Errbody's slobberin' drunk, everyday of the week.

Besides, bein'-stabbed-with-a-knife-then-passin'-out-totally-unawares...that's kid stuff! That's happened to me too many times to count.

That is some serious shit. Those Russians don't fuck around.

Crazy Game In San Diego

The Colorado Rockies held on to win 2-1 after a 22-inning marathon with the San Diego Padres at the Pet on Thursday night.

Get this: the game was scoreless going into the 14th inning, when BOTH teams scored a run! How cra-za-zy is that?

With the scoreboard showing 1-1 going into the top of the 22nd, the Rockies' Willy Taveras reached on a throwing error by San Diego SS Khalil Green. A stolen base, another throwing error (catcher Josh Bard), and a double later (Troy Tulowitzki), Taveras crossed the plate as the winning -- yet UNEARNED -- run. Whew!

There were 7th inning "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" stretches in the 7th, 14th & 21st innings. AWESOME!

Too bad they probably quit sellin' beer in the 8th inning. I bet them folks had alcohol-withdrawal headaches from hell, yo!

Here's a clip of the Pads tyin' it up in the bottom of the 14th. Fans I'm sure were thinkin' nothin' but happy thoughts at that point.

Too bad they'd be vewy, vewy sad later.

The Atlanta Braves Will Sign This Kid Next Season, You Watch

TOKYO -- A Japanese high school pleaded for a regional game to be abandoned after surrendering 66 runs in less than two innings, local media reported on Thursday.


The coach of Kawamoto technical high school threw in the towel to spare his pitcher’s arm with his team losing 66-0 with just one batter out in the bottom of the second.


The hapless hurler had already sent down over 250 pitches, allowing 26 runs in the first inning and 40 in the second before Kawamoto asked for mercy.


“At that pace the pitcher would have thrown around 500 pitches in four innings,” Kawamoto’s coach was quoted as saying. “There was a danger he could get injured.” (blogger's note: Gee, what gave it away?)


Opponents Shunshukan were officially credited with a 9-0 victory, giving the scoreline a tinge of respectability for the luckless Kawamoto school.


How's *that* for an ERA! Don't feel so bad, Chuck James (2008 ERA = 18.00...he's currently in the minors).

Umm, yea, I'm sure Frank Wren, Bravos GM, was on the horn with Japan this mornin' upon catchin' wind of this.

sigh

Somebody Tell Me Why This Is News?

Apparently, when Miguel Tejada was signed by the Oakland A's back in 1993 out of the Dominican Republic, he told folks he was only 17 years old.

But due to the stellar "journalism" of ESPN's E:60, it's been uncovered that Tejada LIED about his age and took off a coupla years when he was first comin' up! Gasp!

Why is this even an issue?

Below is a clip of Tejada's reaction when the "journalist" known as Tom Farrey ambushed him in an interview and threw the real birth certificate in his face.

This bitch came at him like Chris Hansen from "To Catch a Predator". Gimme a break! He's a shortstop, not a child toucher! And it's Miguel Tejada, not Ted Williams.

MT wasn't havin' none of it. Ho took off his mic and walked off the set.



MT (now with the Houston Astros) was allegedly born on the 25th of May in 1974, not 1976 as he had first claimed, which would make him 34, not 32.

I call "who gives a fuck?!" on this one. Who cares?!?!?! If he's 34 or 32, his prime career days are behind him. And if they're not, I can hear 'em fast approachin'. TRUST!

And just for shits & giggles, let's all enjoy this jewel from Mr. Hot Piece himself, Chris Hansen:



Cigarettes, gas & sex...I can tell ya, 2 of those things are hella expensive and detrimental to my survival. I'll let you decide which 2. Prolly ain't what ya think........

And Mr. Beautiful on Jimmy Kimmel Live last year:

(part 1)


(part 2)


For the love of everything Holy, don't ask me how we got from Miguel Tejada's faux age to wannabe child molesters -- the two are not connected in any way. But I guess that's just how my brain works.

Time Lapse Video

Click the photo above to see a really cool time lapse video of a double-header between the Braves & Marlins last season. Big ups to those photogs.

Ok, so I'm easily entertained. Don't judge!

Update: If you can't view the vid above, click here to go to the ajc media player. It may take a couple of minutes to start up.....

Immelman Wins Masters

How cute is HE?! Dayum!



South African (and total babe!) Trevor Immelman, 28, slips into his green jacket after his first Masters win at Augusta National on Sunday.

He finished at 8 under to take home the coveted prize. Poor, poor Tiger Woods finished 3 shots behind Immelman at 5 under and failed to win his 5th green jacket.

All together now: "Awwwwwww".

Whatever.

Back to the hottie....

It's sad that although Immelman won the 2008 Masters Tournament, Tiger will get more press because he *didn't* win.

Notice in the headline story on espn.com, Tiger's name still appears 6 paragraphs ABOVE Immelman's. Nice goin', Wojciechowski!

Now if we could just get Mr. Immelman out of that jacket.......yummmmm

Hamstring Knocked Out Glavine

It was a strained right hamstring that sent Tom Glavine to the showers before he ever even recorded an out in the first inning at Washington's National Park Sunday afternoon.

The former-now-current Atlanta Braves starter has never visited the disabled list -- never, not even once KISSED the DL -- in his long, fabulous, Cy Young award winning, 21-year career. In this day & age, that in itself, is i-n-c-r-e-d-i-b-l-e.

The Braves will wait a few days before they make the decision to sideline the southpaw pee paw.


(photo: AP)

The Braves went on to lose 5-4 to the Nats, who ended a 9-game skid. My Bravos are now 5-7 and 2 games out.....

Braves Release Spiezio

The Atlanta Braves released Scott Spiezio yesterday after he arrived at the AAA Richmond Braves game "unprepared to play".

"We had an agreement with Scott," Braves GM Frank Wren said. "There were three things we asked him to do: No. 1 is to continue his aftercare, which included testing, No. 2, that he attend AA [meetings] and No. 3 he would show up at the park every day ready to play. And yesterday he was not ready to play."

HUH?!?! I need more information about this!!

Unprepared to play? Did he forget his glove? Was he wearin' a tutu? Did he have a broken limb? Was he high? Drunk? I need details, people!!!

For Scott's sake, I hope he continues to get the off-field help he needs. Get well!

(But because I'm a nosey bitch, I still wanna hear the whole story......)



That's one tacky ass tattoo right there! That ho is all kinds of busted in the face. I'll let you decide which one I'm talkin' about.

Glavine Leaves Game After 16 Pitches

Tom Glavine was escorted off the field by trainer Jeff Porter Sunday afternoon in D.C. Maybe he tweaked his back or his hip....unknown if it's serious, if he'll miss any time, etc.


He was probably embarrassed that after 16 pitches, the bases were loaded with 1 out and the Nats had already pushed one across. Oh, and Yuniel Escobar misplayed a ball to allow runners to advance. Ugly.


I hope Tommy Boy's alright. Our starters have looked pretty damn good so far this season (combined ERA of the entire pitching staff -- including our ever so shaky bullpen -- is 3.97.....not shabby). I'd hate to see TG put on the shelf at his "advanced age".

Story developing......


I'll keep watchin' the game for an update on his condition and, lemme tell ya, it's quite a sacrifice on my part. The game's bein' televised on MASN (the Nats' home station) which means I have to listed to Don Sutton's annoying, white-curly-poodle-headed, know-it-all ass!! I can't freakin' STAND him! He bugged the shit outta me when he was on TBS, and I rejoiced when he left. Now he's haunting me when the Braves are on the road! Ugh!

Another Idiot In The Braves Organization

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Kick his ass to the curb, it is a must!

Ooh, ooh! Or how 'bout:

Roses are red, violets are blue
How many criminals can one team keep on its payroll?

Ok, enough with that mess.

The idiot in question here is 21-year-old Braves prospect Jordan Schafer. He tested positive for human growth hormone (HGH) and has been suspended for 50 games by the office of the commish, Bud Selig.




What a fuckin' dickhead! Here's this kid with every opportunity in the world, playin' for an organization in which other youngsters would *kill* to play, and he goes & fucks himself by purposely, KNOWINGLY usin' steroids.

This shit just pisses me off. Wonder *how* Schafer managed to move from No. 27 in the Braves ranks to No. 1...? Hmmm, lemme think.

And when MLB lets him back in the hallowed halls (cuz you know it will...), what message does that send to fans (and children)?!

I don't want his lyin', cheatin', stank ass on my team!

It's time this sport -- the greatest sport on earth -- gets some big fuckin' balls and says "Enough's enough!" already.

Pisses. Me. Off.

Turbo Tax & Ping Pong Balls

Holy crap! This is awesome!

Pro skateboarder Billy Marks appears in this youtube video tossin', bouncin' & ricochetin' ping pong balls into red beer cups (c'mon, you know that's what those cups are for!) and it ROX!



Who gives 2 shits about Turbo Tax?! I wasn't even listening to that part -- it's all about the ballz, baby!

Braves Win 2 In A Row

Against the New York Mets no less...

My Braves won 3-1.



I was totally geeked about the John Smoltz/Johan Santana match-up, this being the first start for John since coming off the DL. I couldn't have asked for more from the almost-41-year-old veteran!

He only pitched 5 innings, but struck out 6 and allowed only 2 hits. He also walked 2.

Johan threw 7 innings, gave up 7 hits and 1 earned run.

Since JS only pitched 5 innings, it left the onus on the bullpen to hold the lead. As in seasons past, I've done my fair share of cursing the Braves relief pitching, but today I shall rejoice.

I'm sure tomorrow I'll return to my potty-mouth ways when the bullpen is unleashed, but for now, I'll enjoy the love I feel for Blaine Boyer, Will Ohman, Pete Moylan & Rafael Soriano.

Although, I must say this: GET YER HEAD OUTTA YER ASS, SORIANO! YER MAKIN' ME NERVOUS!!!!

Ok, I feel better.

Now, it's off to Colorado for a 4-game set against the Rockies. Scheduled starters for those 4 games will be Tom Glavine, Jair Jurrjens, Chuck James & Tim Hudson, respectively.

Go Braves!!!!!

Smoltz vs. Santana

OMG! I'm SO fired up to see this game! Match-up of the season! (Well, *my* season anyway).


More to come......game's gettin' underway as I type!

He's Overjoyed...You Can Tell, Right??

AWK-WARD!

In the finale of Bravo's Make Me a Supermodel last night, the models received visits from loved-ones after 3 months of being apart.

Ben's wifey, April, was the first to show up at the apartment and Ben looked (and acted) like he'd rather be takin' a dump than sittin' around with her!

WTF?! You haven't seen this woman in 12 (TWELVE!) weeks, dude!!



Maybe he really is secretly in love with Ronnie. Maybe hangin' out with his sobby, weepy spouse made him realize that he has no interest in dealin' with the complexities of the fairer sex.

At least BRONNIE would never have to overcome PMS or pregnancy hormones in their romanticalness.

Amanda, Perry's ex?-girlfriend, showed up, much to his surprise. He wanted to talk thru some thangs but homegirl wasn't havin' it. She bawled & hugged & "I love you"d & kissed & tap-danced around his questions like she was afraid of divulgin' too much info in front of the cameras. Didn't wanna come off lookin' like a skank.

Girlfriend, PLEEZ!

You know you love the spotlight! If you didn't, you wouldn't've been photographed with Adnoid Ghaleeeeeeeeeeb!

Btw, cute little Holly won:

A Hawk's Revenge!

A red-tailed hawk sought revenge for its cousin's murder by attacking a schoolgirl who was touring Fenway Park in Boston on Thursday. Crazy!

Apparently, momma hawk was protecting an egg that was located in its nest nearby.

I'm tellin' ya, that bird caught wind of Tripp Isenhour, the psycho golfer who purposely killed a hawk at an Orlando golf course back in December because it was squawkin' too much.

I can hear momma hawk now: "I shall seek retribution for the atrocities brought upon my feathery cousin! Die human, DIE!"



The chicky-poo was not seriously injured.

But she's lookin' for the number of Britney's stylist 'cause she's in need of a weave, STAT!

Beyonce & Jay-Z Goin' To The Chapel

B & Jay are gettin' hitched!

The mega-moguls (music/clothing/production/film/club owners/basketball fans/professional fishermen/chicken farmers/Amish furniture makers/whateverthehellelsethese2dotomakebillions) filed a license for marriage on Tuesday in New York, and they have 60 days in which to put it to good use.



Felicidades!

***Commence the wedding/reception to rival that of Mr. Donald Trump in terms of DOLLAS!***

R.I.P. Elliott's Momma

The unfortch "Taylor Hicks" season of American Idol was the first one I'd ever watched and I wanted Elliott Yamin to win sooooooo bad! I LOVE that dude!!

Elliott's mom, Claudette Yamin, passed away on Monday at a hospital in Virginia. She was 65 years old. The cause of death thusfar has not been disclosed.

She seemed like a wonderful person. Very supportive mom, and as a mom myself, I got mad love for her!

Hugs to you, Elliott.

Hot Tub Full O' Herp & Some Chick Wearin' A Flag

Since I've been outta the loop for a while, I did miss the news of Matt Leinart & Nick Lachey(!?) boozin' & sluttin' it up with some dirrty skeezers in Arizona.


Hey, I ain't hatin'!!!


(WTF is that chicky poo with NL wearin'?!? What country is that from?!)

It's the off-season, Matt. I say make as many bastard babies as you can, dude!

And as for Nick....well, he's just happy he's gettin' press. Whatever it takes, I guess.

I'm Baaaaaaaaack!!

Back from 2 FAN-TAB-U-LUSS weeks in Florida where I gladly let the sun trespass where I won't even let The Hubster. Just what I needed...relaxation, baseball & beer.

As I told ya before I left, I wasn't gonna have internet access at the resort so I couldn't blog, check email or visit my fave porn sites (kidding!) while away. Doesn't look like I've missed much since I've been gone.

I did take in a much-anticipated Braves/Tigers spring training game on March 20. My brother-in-law & I are Bravos fans, The Hubster & The Spawn are Tigers fans and my dad & sis are Cubbies fans (too bad, so sad). It was great seein' Harp (bro-in-law) smilin' all night, just excited to be there.

Good news: The Braves pulled out the victory in the bottom of the 9th inning.

Bad news: I didn't see a Got Dayum Braves run score!!!!

Chipper Jones homered in the 4th to tie the game 1-1. And where was I? In the terrlit.

The Tigers went up 2-1 in the top of the last frame. Come the bottom of the inning, I was ready to leave (disgusted by the impending loss) and I had to go to the terrlit again.

As we're leavin' the stadium, we hear the fans goin' nuts!

Yep, the Braves won it on a Josh Anderson 2-run single. Mo fos!

But I still had a great time. Here are a few photos as proof that I was there. Well, I'm not in any of 'em, but you get the idea, since we're so far away that the images are grainy.

(Chipper in the box & Pudge behind the plate)

(Tex in the box & Pudge behind the plate)

(Huddy on the mound)

(Frenchie comin' up!)