Are The Atlanta Braves Worthy Of My Affection?

I've asked myself this question numerous times over the past 20 or so years. Even at the pinnacle of the Braves' success in the 90s, at some point in every season, this team pisses me off.

Yes, we've endured heartbreak as fans of this team, but I get the feelin' this 2008 season will do us all in. This team will be the death of me.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I don't really even want to watch them anymore this season. I'm sick of all the bullshit:

• Will Mark Teixeira stay or go at the end of the season?
  
• Should Jeff Francoeur be benched for a while?
  
• Is Kelly Johnson a true lead-off hitter?
  
• Is Yunel Escobar a true lead-off hitter?
  
• Will we get a slugging outfielder to help with our hitting woes?
  
• Do we need a couple more (reliable) arms in the bullpen?
  
• Will we acquire another (reliable, established) starter for our rotation?
  
• Why is it that this team can't play good, sound, fundamental baseball?
  
• How many more years will pass before Mike Hampton pitches again?
  
• Was Mark Kotsay a mistake? (Although, Joey Devine - the player we traded to Oakland for Kotsay - has been on the DL since the end of May so he ain't exactly helpin' his team either.)
  
• Does Bobby Cox need to hang it up? Is he senile? Why oh why does he make the decisions that he makes?
  
• Why the hell is Blaine Boyer in the majors? Moreso, why the hell is he on my team?
  
• How many games out of first place will we be come September 1?
  
• How many games under .500 will we be come September 1?

I think I summed up my love for the Braves in my first blog post ever. But now I'm not really feelin' 'em. I'm tired of gettin' beat down night after night.

They need to light a fire under their asses. All of 'em! The one time (all season) that I've seen life on the field was on June 18 when the gorgeous & talented Mike Gonzalez came out with guns a'blazin' and got his first save in over a year. He was on FIRE! He was pumped! It was great...



But the rest of this team plays like shit. It's like they're all in a coma.

Oh, and I'm pretty convinced that June 18 was the last time the Braves won a game. (sarcasm)

So I think I'd have more fun gettin' my choch Brazilian waxed than watchin' these hos get swept by the Phillies. Sigh.

Shit, who'm'I kiddin'? I'll be watchin' tonight. It's that whole abusive boyfriend thing...I love him as much as I hate him.

WTG, Chuck James

In his first start after being recalled from the minors, Atlanta Braves pitcher Chuck James allowed only 4 hits by the Los Angeles Dodgers today. One of those hits was a homerun by Andruw Jones* (his first of the season). *More on Druw below.



James actually dropped his ERA from 18.00 to 7.87, and evened his record at 1-1. The Braves won 4-1 and will be pullin' out the brooms tomorrow afternoon.

Woo hoo!

I am in no way hoppin' on the "Chuck"-(band)wagon (haha, funny) but I just wanted to acknowledge that I was wrong about him possibly pitching like shit today.

Since the Braves have actually put together a string of good games, winning 5 of our last 8 and 3 in a row, I was expecting the other shoe to drop this afternoon. That's typically what happens with my team -- kick ass for a few games, get my hopes up, then they lose 3 or 4 in a row.

I know they "can't win 'em all", but when these dudes get ugly, THEY. GET. UGLY.

Oh, Yunel Escobar is ridin' a 12-game hiting streak into tomorrow, the Braves've only allowed 2 runs in the last 3 games, and Chipper Jones is hittin' .6-0-9 in his last 7 games. Niiiiice!

*Druw has been shown nothin' but love since he's been back in ATL this weekend. Not only did he park is car in the Braves lot today (without gettin' the boot by security), but his parents got to enjoy the game from John Smoltz's luxury box. And after his homer today, the classy ATL fans gave him a standing ovation.

We all still love you, Druuuuuuw! It just ain't right seein' you in Dodger blue....

Glavine Leaves Game After 16 Pitches

Tom Glavine was escorted off the field by trainer Jeff Porter Sunday afternoon in D.C. Maybe he tweaked his back or his hip....unknown if it's serious, if he'll miss any time, etc.


He was probably embarrassed that after 16 pitches, the bases were loaded with 1 out and the Nats had already pushed one across. Oh, and Yuniel Escobar misplayed a ball to allow runners to advance. Ugly.


I hope Tommy Boy's alright. Our starters have looked pretty damn good so far this season (combined ERA of the entire pitching staff -- including our ever so shaky bullpen -- is 3.97.....not shabby). I'd hate to see TG put on the shelf at his "advanced age".

Story developing......


I'll keep watchin' the game for an update on his condition and, lemme tell ya, it's quite a sacrifice on my part. The game's bein' televised on MASN (the Nats' home station) which means I have to listed to Don Sutton's annoying, white-curly-poodle-headed, know-it-all ass!! I can't freakin' STAND him! He bugged the shit outta me when he was on TBS, and I rejoiced when he left. Now he's haunting me when the Braves are on the road! Ugh!

4 Days & Counting

Pitchers & catchers report to spring training on Valentine's Day, while position players report Feb. 19. So the more geeked I get about the start-up of the 2008 MLB season, the more baseball posts you'll see here at the Kastle.

In my trollin' the 'net for all things baseball, I came across this nice little piece from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Furman Bisher. He gives a well-written overview of the Braves' pitching situation (Mike Hampton included, of course) and our perceived question marks for various positions, i.e. Mark Kotsay replacin' Andruw Jones in CF, Yunel Escobar becomin' our starting SS after losin' Edgar Renteria.

But I have to give the "Dan Dierdorf Award" to the AJC's Dave O'Brien for his "10 keys to success for the Braves in 2008." You know how Dierdorf was famous for stating the obvious when he was in the booth for Monday Night Football back in the day? (For example, something to the effect of, "the Rams have *got* to convert on 4th down if they want to get a fresh set of downs.") Well, O'Brien pretty much does the same thing in this story.

We know we have to keep our starters healthy. We know we have to keep Chipper "I'm Made of Glass" Jones off the DL. We know we need a strong, steady bullpen with an established closer. We know we need Kotsay to not play like shit. Duh!

I digress...

I'm a little excited about Javy Lopez signing a minor league contract with the club and being invited to spring training. If he makes it, it'll be good to see him in a Braves uniform again. Or out of one...



Since I've segued into shirtless baseball players, can someone tell me who the hell was behind THIS photo shoot?!?!



Apparently, back in the 90s, Sports Illustrated did a story on shortstops. For some reason, dudes took off their shirts. This is bothersome.

Derek Jeter probably came up with the idea because he loves himself so much, and A-Rod went along with it just so he could see Jeter topless. But I can't believe Rents agreed to do this shit!