Nothing To See Here

I've been out of it for a few days, lambs. "Down in the dumps", as MeMe would say. Feelin' just BLAH.

Since I've last posted, Manny became a Dodger, Brett became a Jet, the Braves are 9.5 games out of first..and most grievously, our beloved Skip Caray passed, taking my childhood and most of adulthood with him.

Suffice it to say, those last two happenings have just about done me in. I feel like my head's not on straight (like, when has it *ever* been on straight, right??)

I'll pop back on the blog soon, I hope. Just too much goin' on right now to crank out a quality post.

Ya Just Can't Make This Up

Some crazy 15-year-old boy in Georgia was charged with four counts of sexual battery for biting or grabbing the buttocks of at least 10 women at the Lovejoy Wal-Mart, and more charges are expected.

"(Police Capt. Greg) Dickens said complaints of rear-end assaults at the store began in August and continued throughout May."

He was recognized & confronted by an ass-bitin' victim who saw him walkin' with relatives.

Could you *imagine*?!?!?!

"Uh, yea, I was tryin' me on some White Stag slacks o'vr'der in the big girl's section and yo' nephew her' jumped out 'da rack & bit my ass! Dayum!"

I'm pretty sure it was one'a these twats below. They look like the ample-butt-bitin' types. Shit, they'll give *anybody* a camera phone these days.




Although these pre-pubescent tools are questionable...I'm thinkin' they shoulda been in the men's Wrangler department. Pre-Brett Favre Wranglers, that is.

His ass is MINE!



I am offended! I have a big, juicy ass AND I was born in a Wal-Mart. I think somebody needs to change The Constitution or somethin'! My Rights have been violated in some way, shape or form....I'm just sure of it!

I'm gonna sue some teenage douche! SUE! SUE! I'M SUIN'!!!!

Well Crap!

(Pepaw deserves another ring!)

I was really lookin' forward to a Favre-Brady Showdown in the Super Bowl, with the Packers winning of course. I love me some Brett Favre!

Now I have to root for Eli "I'm not my brother Peyton" Manning in the SB because I hate Tom Brady.

And it *would* be cool to have brothers win back-to-back Super Bowls. I don't think that's ever happened before, right?

Besides, if Lil' Bro wins the big game, that'll shut Tiki up forever! Muahahaha


(Tiki in SI '02)

If ya think about it, we'll ALL be winners on Super Bowl Sunday because of this! Yee Haw!!!

When his football career's over, Mr. Jiz Bundchen can continue to whore out that shitteous cologne. Stetson's a good name for it cuz it smells like horse piss.

And just because it's funny as hell, here's Eli imbibing in the nectar of the God's a few years back. Never mind the skank in the shot with him....

GO GIANTS!!!!!

My Favorite Match-Up of the Season

Eli Manning and his New York Giants will brave the elements tonight as they roll into Lambeau Field to take on Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers.

I think the weather will play a huge factor (for the Giants) in tonight's game. Lambeau is Favre's House and he loves this shit! Eli on the other hand might not be able to shake the puss and pull out a victory.


(Hottest pepaw to play the game)

(The winning team goes to the Super Bowl where Paula Abdul is said to be performing at half-time. Those poor bastards will be in the locker room when that hot mess hits the stage. That's so unfortch! They're gonna miss the performance of a *lifetime*!)

A -13 windchill at kick-off won't bode well for NY tonight. And that's fine with me. I'm pissed at Eli anyway. That bitch didn't do a damn thang for my fantasy team this year and now he's on the cusp of a Super Bowl trip?! I don't think so. Kick his ass, BF!!!

Eli's even makin' his lady freeze her ass off to support him in the stands. That's aiight, I'm sure the thought of spendin' all his money will help keep her warm. That would be my motivation. But I'm a greedy ho. Benjamins'll do that to a gal.



Oh yea, there's another game today, too. Yawn. If anyone cares about Mr. Jiz Bundchen, he hopes to keep his New England Patriots undefeated by disposing of the visiting San Diego Chargers.

They won't have it as bad as the folks at Lambeau, though. It'll feel like a balmy 11 degrees at Gillette Stadium for the 3 p.m. kick-off. Luckies.

GD, I SUCK...

...big time. Here I thought I was gonna dominate most of the season, with the exception of the Tom Brady-, Peyton Manning-, Brett Favre-, LaDainian Tomlinson-havers. Here I sat with Chad Johnson, Shaun Alexander, Eli Manning (yea, OK, so he's no big brother, but shit! It was the best I could do in the 7th round....NOBODY takes QBs in the first 6 rounds, dammit!) and DeAngelo "Brown Sugar" Williams.

I barely recognize my team now. It's been decimated by injury, bye weeks and complete suck-assedness. Who'd'a thought that my two franchise players, Johnson & Alexander, would be averagin' 11.6 and 7.5 yards/game, respectively? What the fuck!?

So Alexander's 30-years-old? Big damn deal! Emmitt Smith's old, Dancin' with the Stars ass retired at 35 and was still killin' it! Shit, he had 9 touchdowns that year (2004)! SA's only got 2 TDs all 2007 season........in weeks 1 & 2. It's now week 10. DAYUM!

This was what my team looked like at the end of Monday, Oct. 29, 2007:

• Eli "I'm Not My Brother" Manning - 10 points (fuckin' Wembley Stadium and your spotted dick...whatever the hell that is. Who the hell's idea was it to play in London anyway?!)
• DeAngelo "Brown Sugar" Williams - 4 points
• Reuben "Studdard" Droughns - 3 points
• Chad "I Should Be Better on Paper" Johnson - 5 points (fuckin' TJ Who'sYa'Momma)
• Dennis "Who?" Northcutt - 1 point
• Donald Driver..........................................................................................I can't even go on, it's too depressing

I'm goin' to watch QVC.