Cougars 4 Cook

Ok, so I didn't vote for David "Hot Lips" Cook 473 times after last Tuesday's American Idol finale -- in fact, I never voted once this year...for anybody -- and I'm not a 40-something suburban soccer-mom, but it's obvious now that Fly Honey's fan base wasn't of the 15-year-old female persuasion.



"Cougars 4 Cook" had my future ex-husband's voting line on speed-dial, propelling him to victory by 12+ million votes over David "Zygote" Archuleta.


The AP writes: "Maybe it's his edgy-yet-mainstream appeal, sly grin, sparkling hazel eyes, facial scruff, love for crossword puzzles, love for his mom and brothers. Or perhaps it's the way he broke down in tears after his final performance..."


See, I'm not the only wrinkled old bag who's hot for his jock and his crossword puzzles.


He's just got that...thang about him. Ya know, that thang!


But it kinda makes me wonder, where were all the Cougars when Chris Daughtry got the boot a few years ago? Wasn't he supposed to be, like, *the* hottest? Don't get me wrong, Daughtry's done pretty damn well for himself since Idol, but I was kinda surprised that he didn't go further in the competition.


Oh well. I guess the Cougars just know what they like. And they luuurve Hot Lips.


Sigh.......Idol's over. Survivor's over. Grey's Anatomy's over. Brothers & Sisters is over.


If it weren't for baseball season to get me through the next four months, I would need therapy. Television therapy.


Side note: As of Memorial Day 2008, the Atlanta Braves are 27-23 & 2.5 games out of 1st.

Is The Writers Strike Almost Over?

Word on the street is that the writers strike is about to come to an end -- an agreement could be reached as early as this week.

Hallelujah, holla back!

(Chris Pizzello / Reuters)

I do love me some reality TV, but Vh1 is gettin' outta hand, people. I mean, does the world really need Flavor of Love 3? How old is Flav anyway? Dude's gotta be pushin' 78.

Seems like Vh1 only features memaws & pepaws on its shows...haggard, washed-up musicians & actors.

You've got yer Brett Michaels (Rock of Love 1 & 2), the aforementioned Flavor Flav (Flavor of Love 1, 2 & 3), Celebrity Rehab and its myriad of messy has-beens, Surreal Life 1-57, Christopher Knight & Adrienne Curry (My Fair Brady, wedding, baby, blah blah blah), The Salt & Pepa Show (although I love those bad bitches!), Scott Baio is 122 and has 30 greatgrandkids, Hogan Knows Best (but he didn't know enough to teach his effin' kid how *not* to drive!).

I've enjoyed the "fresh" shows I've seen on Vh1 of late -- The Shot, America's Most Smartest Model, The Agency, yada yada.

But I'm ready to get on with the *good* shows already! I'm over reality tv. I need my Pushing Daisies (I cannot hide my luuuuurve for the Pie Maker. Oh how I miss seeing his lovely face on my TV screen.....sigh.), Grey's Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters, Private Practice, Desperate Housewives.

So please, studios & writers, please please please ink a deal so Flavor Flav will release his grip on our lives!! Puh-leeeeez!!!!???

Oh, and only 56 days til the first Braves game of the '08 season!!! And 57 days til the Bravos' home opener.

BTW, did I mention that I'm goin' to a spring training game whilst in Florida next month? Yea, I'm gonna flash Frenchie the girls during pre-game warmups.

This is how he'll celebrate after seein' MoonKween's goodies:

:)

HE'S 2007's Sexiest Man Alive?!?!

So, there I was, gettin' my beauty on at the hair salon today and I see People's Sexiest Man Alive issue layin' around. I couldn't get past the "winner" on the cover so I never even opened it up. Who the hell votes on this shit?

Matt Damon used to be sexy back in the day -- like back in the Bourne Identity days. But now he's just lookin' like a used up condom. I think his wifey's sucked the hot out of him.



Hell, Robin Roberts is a Sexier Man Alive than MD! I kid! I love Robin.

Anyhoo, a quick Google search revealed the long list of almost-winners and I coulda picked about 200 hotter men than Matt Damon!

For starters, Brad Pitt. That man tops *every* list as far as I'm concerned. I mean, just LOOK at him. I've never seen a man so lovely.



And there were a million people on that list that I'd never even heard of. I guess I'm too busy watchin' I Love New York and Little People Big World to know who the hell Seth Gabel and Penn Badgley are.

I don't know if any of these yayhoos are even on the People list, but I don't give a damn. This is my chance to post about hot boys.

My votes woulda been for Dave Annable (hell, that hot bitch in the pic with him is sexier than Matt Damon):



David Beckham:



Taye Diggs' Brown Sugar Ass:



Tim Daly (oh how I miss Wings!):



Shemar Moore:



Prince Harry and his Ginger locks:



Tim Gunn (Make it Work!):



Justin Chambers:



Ryan Reynolds (I'll even forget that he's Canadian for a minute). And I mean the HOT version of Ryan Reynolds, not the skinny Al Borland from Home Improvement version:



Adam Levine (I don't care if he *is* a tool):



Peter Krause (I miss Nate Fisher!):



Josh Duhamel (I'll even forgive him for pokin' Fuggy Fug all these years). I mean, look at that hot piece! DAYUM!:



Shit, I'd even take Joel McHale over Matt Damon:



And on a side note, why the hell is Justin Timberlake makin' any Sexiest lists? He aint' NO kind of sexy. He looks like a poor man's Robin Thicke in a bad holiday velvet ascot. TRUST!



C'MON People magazine! You better bring the *real* hotness next year!

Yea, in case you can't tell, I'm not too thrilled with People's winner this year, but in reality, I really don't give two shits.

Oh, and speakin' of Little People Big World, why the hell wasn't Jeremy Roloff on that list?! He's 19 now, he's legal!

2007 Emmy Awards

I don't really have a lot to say about the Emmys this year cuz I didn't watch the whole show. But I did see enough to know who was hot and who looked like shit. Let's discuss.....

Let me start with Helen Mirren -- this granny is H-O-T! Dayum, she looks good for 116! I kid. She's 62. She was a vision of loveliness in her amethyst gown and cute wispy 'do. Gorgeous!



I may be the only woman in America who didn't like Katherine Heigl's dress. It was too wedding gown - too tragically bridesmaid for me, sorry. She gave good face (LOVE the red lipstick!), but that was it...I honestly thought ho looked better at last year's Emmys with the sweaty boob cheese.



Heidi "Mrs. Seal" Klum worked. it. out. in that fabs merlot strapless with the slit up to there! On TV, her lipstick looked more burgundy, but in pics it's too red for that dress (and why do I notice shit like that?). Love the hair, love the jewels. She was quite the yummy mummy.



Eva looks the same everytime I see her ass. She can wear a multitude of different Kaufman Franco dresses, Christian Louboutin shoes, hairstyles, shitty spray-on tans...it just doesn't matter. Bitch still looks the same to me. She's cuter in the yoga outfits she wears on DH.


(here she at the 07 Emmys) (here she is at the 06 Emmys)
blech, same same same

Hayden...poor little Hayden...Good God, what happened here? Did you not recognize the orange tinge to your skin, or the fact that it blended almost flawlessly with the color of your frock? Were you feelin' fat? Cuz there's enough extra fabric there to fit about 3 more folks in that hideous dress. Shit, I just don't know what else to say about this mess.

And speakin' of messes, Miz Vanessa Williams was the biggest one of 'em all. Dayum, woman! It looks like Big Bird was attacked by a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream! Still, wearin' the Big Bird dress to the Emmys was a better decision than wearin' this piece o' crap to the Golden Globes.