Tailor Made Was Sited...But For The Wrong Reason

Gatecrasher reports that George "Tailor Made" Weisgerber flipped off a cop in Chelsea last week and was slapped with a disorderly conduct summons.

Allegedly, Tailor Made also cussed out the po-po in front of nightclub Taj and jay-walked. Gasp! Jay-walked?! FELON!



It was denied that any cussin' took place; supposedly he "got swept up" in a separate disturbance outside a different club.

They shoulda locked his ass up & thrown away the key for playin' tonsil hockey with that hot manly mess, New York!

Shit, that's the *real* crime!

Little Georgie has a court date later this month.

Is The Writers Strike Almost Over?

Word on the street is that the writers strike is about to come to an end -- an agreement could be reached as early as this week.

Hallelujah, holla back!

(Chris Pizzello / Reuters)

I do love me some reality TV, but Vh1 is gettin' outta hand, people. I mean, does the world really need Flavor of Love 3? How old is Flav anyway? Dude's gotta be pushin' 78.

Seems like Vh1 only features memaws & pepaws on its shows...haggard, washed-up musicians & actors.

You've got yer Brett Michaels (Rock of Love 1 & 2), the aforementioned Flavor Flav (Flavor of Love 1, 2 & 3), Celebrity Rehab and its myriad of messy has-beens, Surreal Life 1-57, Christopher Knight & Adrienne Curry (My Fair Brady, wedding, baby, blah blah blah), The Salt & Pepa Show (although I love those bad bitches!), Scott Baio is 122 and has 30 greatgrandkids, Hogan Knows Best (but he didn't know enough to teach his effin' kid how *not* to drive!).

I've enjoyed the "fresh" shows I've seen on Vh1 of late -- The Shot, America's Most Smartest Model, The Agency, yada yada.

But I'm ready to get on with the *good* shows already! I'm over reality tv. I need my Pushing Daisies (I cannot hide my luuuuurve for the Pie Maker. Oh how I miss seeing his lovely face on my TV screen.....sigh.), Grey's Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters, Private Practice, Desperate Housewives.

So please, studios & writers, please please please ink a deal so Flavor Flav will release his grip on our lives!! Puh-leeeeez!!!!???

Oh, and only 56 days til the first Braves game of the '08 season!!! And 57 days til the Bravos' home opener.

BTW, did I mention that I'm goin' to a spring training game whilst in Florida next month? Yea, I'm gonna flash Frenchie the girls during pre-game warmups.

This is how he'll celebrate after seein' MoonKween's goodies:

:)

Is He Still Alive...?

"Rock of Love 2" premiers tonight (9 EST, Vh1) and I'm still in awe of the women (term used loosely) who sign up for this shit. First of all, it's a reality show. Second of all, it's Bret Freakin' Michaels, aka Fergie.



Is he really a catch? I'm not into long-haired rocker dudes who wear more eye makeup than I do, so I guess I just don't see the appeal. He's so not hot.

Dlisted summed up the new season best in this piece. Eloquent as always, MK!

You know I'm still gonna watch this trash, tho. I've already got my Tivo set!

I'm On Vacay, Bitches!

Sorry y'all! I'm on vacation until January 4, hangin' out with the fam, drinkin', playin' cards, shoppin' & eatin' too much. My kind of vacation!

There seems to be LOTS goin' on in Hollyweird and the Sports World these days so I'm hopin' I get to put my spin on it pretty soon. You *know* I always got shit to say!

Tailor Made & Tranny New York are engaged but he's (allegedly) cheatin' on her ass already, who's Jamie Lynn's baby daddy?, Fuggy Fug is gettin' married to that hot piece of man meat Josh Duhamel, Jennifer Aniston's (allegedly) knocked up, the Padres are gettin' screwed in the ass by payin' Mark Prior $1Millz for a year, Paris Hilton's gramps gave away all her inheritance, Jay-Z quit Def Jam, Mischa got arrested...it just goes on & on.

More to come from the Kween at a later date.

Hope Santy was good to ya & have a safe New Years Eve! Stay outta jail!

Introducing Mr. New York

My Favorite Tranny, New York (aka Tiffany Pollard), chose her, um, man tonight on the season finale: Tailor Made


Hot Piece, Mr. Tiffany Pollard

He proposed to her in the finale and she turned him down. She said maybe 24 months from now she'd consider bein' his husband wife. (He needs to divorce his original wifey first. This ain't Utah y'all.)


Although I'm pretty sure her dick is bigger than his, I'm happy for 'em. I didn't much care for Buddah.

I was rootin' for Midget Mac to go all the way. He knows that Midge-It-Su. Hi-YA!

Look at that mess. Looks like Baskin Robbins exploded all over his ass. Dayum!

Lucky for us, we didn't have to see much of Calibos in the finale. That hooker's uglier than a baboon's ass. And I know my way around a baboon's ass.

Tonight: Best Year Ever!

Tonight's the premier of the 2007 edition of VH1's Best Year Ever! Be there or be square, bitches!



I can't wait to see what they have to say about Brit Brit and all the celebubitch jail-birds of '07!

Go On, Tina Girl!

Ike Turner's widow, Jeanette, is asking Tina Turner to forgive her dead-ass husband for all his wife beatin' & cokeheadedness back in the day.

Why the hell should she?! Miz Tina don't owe him shit. She's prolly plannin' to go do the Proud Mary "Big Wheel" dance on his grave when ain't nobody watchin'. I would.

Ike passed away Wednesday, December 12 at the age of 76.

Yahoo! Music reports this:

Ike Turner’s widow Jeanette Turner has asked Tina Turner to forgive him.

Turner passed away earlier this week (December 12) in San Diego.

Tina Turner’s official statement read: "Tina hasn’t had any contact with Ike for more than 35 years. No further comment will be made."

However Jeanette Turner said: " I know that she was hurt. But there’s something called forgiveness and I know Ike really forgave himself, which is really hard to do."

She added: "I’m not defending what he did. I’m not saying he didn’t do what he did when he was with Tina or me. But he was a human being. And being all of that, he’s still a childlike person--pure and a good person always willing to help people."

She told EURweb: "He was a human being and he helped Tina...he helped a lot of people."

Uh huh.

Sayonara, ya drug-addicted wife-beater.

Oh! And if you kinda squint & turn your head to the side, don't Ike look like Real from I Love New York?!?! haha!

Not Again...

Someone with a mouth as big as mine, and with as many opinions as I have, sometimes has a tough time blogging: so many people, so much mess, so little time. One never knows where to start, however...

There I was today, workin' from home, carin' for my sick spawn as a good mother should, when I decided to flip through the channels on my lunch break. That's when I came upon my fave soap, The Young & The Restless. I ain't watched this shit in MONTHS! Soapnet keeps changin' the air time of this wreck and I just can't keep up anymore.

Not to mention, I'm now the manager of a high-powered, kick-ass fantasy football team and don't have time to watch trashy daytime/nighttime soaps...unless it's I Love New York 2, in which case, I MAKE time. But more on my awesome FFB team later...

Like I said, while the spawn was playin' PS2 and I was innocently watchin' TV, I was thinkin' to myself, "Whatever happened to so-&-so from back in the Y&R day?", with no intention of bloggin' tonight because, well, I just can't decide who'd I like to be my next sharp-tongued target.

So I jumped on my home computer during the noon hour and this vision of loveliness appeared on my screen: Gloria Fisher-Abbott from Y&R.

With all due respect to my non-judgin' grand-momma: MOTHER FUCKER!

What did my eyes ever do to you, Joan Van Ark?! What did they do to deserve this?! They are now layin', bloodied, on the floor.

Knots Landing alums Donna Mills & JVA (allegedly) filmed spots on Nip/Tuck this past week.

How many times do I have to tell you bitches, Nip/Tuck is a fictional TV show! Sean McNamara & Christian Troy are NOT real plastic surgeons! I thought y'all mighta learned somethin' from this horrific mess!

Reporter Janet Charlton had this to say about JVA's visit to the set: "There was endless hair and makeup preparation, and a setsider noted that the only things rail-thin Joan consumed all day were several glasses of water with honey and one banana. But most frustrating was the fact that it took FOUR hours to light Joan to her complete satisfaction. That's longer than it takes to have a facelift AND liposuction."

Banana, my ass! That ho looks like she gave a free blowjob to a blueberry from the catering truck! What the hell kinda procedure ends with a blue muzzle?

I've heard electrolysis ain't no joke, but even this Tinseltown dinosaur should know not to go out in public 15 minutes after an electro session! DAYUM!

If my momma was dead, she'd be rollin' over in her grave, Valene Ewing. What did you do to yourself? You know Gary ain't gonna be happy to see your blue-faced ass!





Aside from the blueberry fellatio, what's up with the rusty brows & eyeliner?! Sister, yo' roots ain't even that color, and that ain't NO natural color found under the sun created by the Holy Maker himself.

If I were you, I'd lose the number to Michael Jackson's dermatologist. His ass ain't nothin' but trouble, TRUST!

Oh, and, by the way, I might pick up some Mineral Veil to hide that shine. But that's just me...

HE'S 2007's Sexiest Man Alive?!?!

So, there I was, gettin' my beauty on at the hair salon today and I see People's Sexiest Man Alive issue layin' around. I couldn't get past the "winner" on the cover so I never even opened it up. Who the hell votes on this shit?

Matt Damon used to be sexy back in the day -- like back in the Bourne Identity days. But now he's just lookin' like a used up condom. I think his wifey's sucked the hot out of him.



Hell, Robin Roberts is a Sexier Man Alive than MD! I kid! I love Robin.

Anyhoo, a quick Google search revealed the long list of almost-winners and I coulda picked about 200 hotter men than Matt Damon!

For starters, Brad Pitt. That man tops *every* list as far as I'm concerned. I mean, just LOOK at him. I've never seen a man so lovely.



And there were a million people on that list that I'd never even heard of. I guess I'm too busy watchin' I Love New York and Little People Big World to know who the hell Seth Gabel and Penn Badgley are.

I don't know if any of these yayhoos are even on the People list, but I don't give a damn. This is my chance to post about hot boys.

My votes woulda been for Dave Annable (hell, that hot bitch in the pic with him is sexier than Matt Damon):



David Beckham:



Taye Diggs' Brown Sugar Ass:



Tim Daly (oh how I miss Wings!):



Shemar Moore:



Prince Harry and his Ginger locks:



Tim Gunn (Make it Work!):



Justin Chambers:



Ryan Reynolds (I'll even forget that he's Canadian for a minute). And I mean the HOT version of Ryan Reynolds, not the skinny Al Borland from Home Improvement version:



Adam Levine (I don't care if he *is* a tool):



Peter Krause (I miss Nate Fisher!):



Josh Duhamel (I'll even forgive him for pokin' Fuggy Fug all these years). I mean, look at that hot piece! DAYUM!:



Shit, I'd even take Joel McHale over Matt Damon:



And on a side note, why the hell is Justin Timberlake makin' any Sexiest lists? He aint' NO kind of sexy. He looks like a poor man's Robin Thicke in a bad holiday velvet ascot. TRUST!



C'MON People magazine! You better bring the *real* hotness next year!

Yea, in case you can't tell, I'm not too thrilled with People's winner this year, but in reality, I really don't give two shits.

Oh, and speakin' of Little People Big World, why the hell wasn't Jeremy Roloff on that list?! He's 19 now, he's legal!

Separated at Birth

Why the Hell ain't nobody ever said these two were separated at birth?! Shit!

There IS no Neil McCarthy -- it was a conspiracy. Sister Patterson is secretly Calibos from Clash of the Titans! Shifty!

I thought she looked like his ass in the first season of I Love New York, but dayum, it's even worse this time around -- the nails, the hooked nose, the feathered Heather Locklear weave (which, I might add, has drastically shrunk that 10-head she's sportin' because of the new style). Give her a fork hand and it's all over. Ugh, what the eff!!

GD, I loved this movie. Seriously. And this bitch ruined it for me!



And just because I know you miss her ass, here's the vintage 10-head Sister Patterson:



Will someone please get me this figurine for Christmas?! That, my friends, is some hot shit! It'll be worth millions one day!

R.I.P. Romeo #3

OK, so y'all know my new fave show is The Pickup Artist, but last week I just couldn't bring myself to blog about the epi; it was too effin' boring. Ol' Fred got the boot, and frankly I don't give a damn.

But this week was GREAT! It had one of the most uncomfortable "reality" scenes I've seen in a long time -- forced (and blindfolded!) intimacy! Yikes!

The boys got a kissing lesson from Mystery's two main bitches: Taaaaaaara & that other chick. They had to practice by makin' out with fruit. No, not Lance Bass -- actual fruit, like peaches & strawberries and shit.

Then the challenge was to kiss a blindfolded Taaaaaaara and come out #1 in her rankings. This is the part that made my ass twitchy. Seriously.

Bitch kissed 6 dudes in a row (although some of the "kisses" were so sad, they don't hardly even count as kisses...). I thought to myself "she needs to get her ass to the free clinic for some Valtrex, STAT!" then I remembered "wait, these dudes've only ever made out with their toothbrushes, so they're probably herp-free."

A couple of the makeout sessions were gettin' a bit hot & heavy -- and I must admit, Taaaaaaara was startin' to get really into 'em, all moanin' & shit...it was great. From where I was sittin', looked like Kosmo's ass was the best kisser. He was workin' it for me. It's like some Oscar De La Hoya thing he's got goin' on...I don't know, but I'd hit it.

So after Taaaaaaara's votes were tallied, and by "votes were tallied" I mean panties were changed, Kosmo was the big winner. His prize: an earbud through which to hear Mystery coachin' him in the club later on from outside in a mover's van. Yea, think Peyton Manning listenin' to his coaches in the booth through the mic in his helmet. Whatever.

To try to save himself from elimination, each dude had to go into said club and find some whore drunk enough to make out with him.

They all failed except one: King Kosmo

He used some cheesy line like "I am tryin' so hard not to kiss you right now", and the drunk ho-bag fell for it, hook, line & sinker. She says "so why don't you?" blah, blah, blah, and then face-suckin' ensued. Hell, that was pretty much more uncomfortable that the blindfolded forced intimacy! Yuck.

So King K chose Joe D. & Joe W. to be his wingmen or whatever, and all 3 were able to escape elimination. It came down to Pradeep (he's gotta be gay) and Scott (can't believe he was still here...) in the final 2. But in the words of MC Serch, it was Scott who had to "STEP OFF!"

No offense, but if poor Scott tried to kick some game to *me* in a club, I wouldn't be havin' it.



Judgin' by the previews for next week, there's gonna be some speedos, more drunk sluts and man cryin'. Lovez!

R.I.P. Romeo #1

Peacocks, gambits & jewelry, oh my!

OK, so my latest obsession is The Pickup Artist (see below). Really can't say *why* it's my new fave show, but I loves it! After the season premier last Monday, I waited (im)patiently for 6 days & 23 hours. Last night's episode didn't disappoint!

The 8 loverboys got makeovers to match their "avatars" -- their new self-created personas. Piercings, skin-tight pants & blue hair were among the most drastic changes made by the fellas. Oh, and Alvaro changed his name to "Kosmo". Whatever.

The challenge: make the biggest change to your appearance, bring out the peacock in yourself, and you'll win a woman. A woman named "Tara" or some shit. She would help the winner practice his dumb pickup lines and tell him what he's doin' wrong. Mystery & his cronies, J. Dog & Matador, had the dubious task of selecting the dude they would be most willin' to let roll with 'em.

Anyhoobs, Spoon was the big "winner" -- or "loser", depending on how you look at it.

So the kids had to practice using gay-ass "gambits" to "open a set" at a club. Basically, a "gambit" is a conversation starter and a "set" is considered a group of 2 or more peeps (damn, who comes up with these terms?). So dudes have to walk up to the set, spit the lines and try not to get beat down. One of the gambits being: "Do you floss before or after you brush your teeth?".......huh? If dude said that to me at a bar, I'd knock him out & take his drink.

The kids then get let loose in the bar to try out these lines. Joe D. (the lovable, hairy, wonky-eyed dough boy) won immunity by doing the best job of opening sets. The kicker was that, as the immunity winner, he had to select 2 of his housemates to be his "wing men" which also saved them from being eliminated. Joe D. chose the newly-platinum-blonde-avatar Brady and the screw-these-dumb-ass-pickup-lines,-instead-I'm-gonna-try-breakdancing-in-the-bar-to-open-a-set Kosmo as his wing men.

Then Mystery broke out the JEWELS! I'm not talkin' diamonds & platinum jewels, I'm talkin' medallions & shit! Man-necklaces.....man-laces! Yea, get this: for every "level" that these tools successfully pass, they get a medallion that has some sort of Pickup Artist heiroglyphics on it. The first man-lace was supposed to symbolize "rebirth" or some crap -- I don't know, I wasn't listenin'. I was too busy lookin' at the cheap-ass Joan Rivers enamelling on it. Fug!

So Joe D., Kosmo & Brady get their man-laces and exit stage left.

The remaining 5 on the chopping block were: I'm-trying-to-look-15-instead-of-45-years-old-Nerds-Gone-Wild Fred; women-think-I'm-gay-so-I'm-going-to-have-chunks-of-flesh-stabbed-out-of-my-ears-to-show-them-how-manly-tough-I-really-am Joe W.; I'm-so-socially-inept-I-really-don't-think-there's-hope-for-me-in-this-game/Bill-Gates-wanna-be Scott; My-phobia-of-talking-to-women-is-so-paralyzing-that-I-cry-at-every-challenge-where-I-have-to-talk-to-women Spoon; and I'd-rather-walk-into-a-bar-and-start-talking-to-the-first-group-of-men-I-see Pradeep (hmmm...maybe he should be on a different show. M'just sayin....).

After Scott, Joe A. & Pradeep all get their man-laces and leave, it's just Spoon and Fred left on the sectional sofa. Mystery says some stuff, cut to dramatic shots of Spoon, Fred, J. Dog, Matador and Mystery, then The Spoon Man dropped the biggest surprise of the night (with the exception of Pradeep actually approaching women at the bar earlier in the evenin') when he raises his hand to volunteer gettin' the boot. He was such a nice guy that he took himself out of the Master Pickup Artist competition so that Fred could have the fuggy-fug medallion. UGH!

I'm just glad Joe A., Joe D., Brady or Kosmo didn't get the heave ho! I love those bitches!

Next week, there's supposed to be some dramz goin' down, and creative VH1 preview editing has it lookin' like Pradeep is at the center of it all. I guess homegirl starts backstabbin' people & shit.

LOVEZ!






<----- Spoon doin' his best Sean Lennon impersonation.

I <3 Reality TV

Hello, my name is Tara and I'm a reality show-aholic.

I admit it -- I'm hooked. It started with MTVs first season of The Real World in New York: Becky, Eric, Andre, Norman, Julie, Heather B. & Kevin -- I loved all those bitches!

In the new age of reality TV, producers have discovered that "manufactured reality" is really what sells (hey, I've seen Reality TV Secrets Revealed. I know what's up...) So yes, I know that most of it isn't "real". But it's like a train wreck: I just can't turn away.

I have to say that VH1 has probably cornered the market on the trashy goodness with shows like Flavor of Love (1 & 2), I Love New York (1 & upcoming 2), My Fair Brady & We're Getting Married, The Surreal Life (1-6), Kept, Rock of Love, Hogan Knows Best, etc.

But has anybody seen The Pickup Artist?! It's the latest hot mess to hit our beloved VH1, and boy is it a doozie. It's about 8 lovable losers (4 of whom are virgins) who've never had girlfriends and can't even talk to the opposite sex. They move into a mansion (I wonder what kind of housing budget VH1 has for its garbage shows...?) in hopes that this "Mystery" chap can teach 'em how to become a Master Pickup Artist. Basically, they wanna learn the magic word they can use that'll get 'em laid.

Admittedly, I watched the series premier Monday night out of curiosity. I was curious to see what type of men (or boys) would willingly sign up for a show of this caliber. I was also curious to see what this "Mystery" person was all about. But I was probably most curious to see what powers this said Mystery person possessed that made every woman in his presence want to peel off her thong and get busy.

Just look at these hot bitches! The douche in the furry hat is Mystery. The tool at front left is "Matador" and the Eminem mini-me at front right is "J. Dog". Seriously.

I loved this shit! I'm gonna watch just to see if what they're teachin' will actually work on real women -- it seemed to work on those sluts in the bar in the first epi. Oh, who'm I kiddin'? After a few Coors Lights I'd jump on Mystery so fast he wouldn't know what hit him, honey.