Spring Training, Here I Come!

I want to apologize for being so lax with the postin' this week. A million & one things to do.

I'm tryin' to wrap shit up at work, make my packin' list for the trip, stay on top of the Spawn to get his homework finished/turned in (his little mind is also startin' to drift towards warm, sunny Florida so I can't blame him...), get my Wally World shoppin' list straight, hit the tanning salon regularly (which I absolutely abhor), blah blah blah.

Oh, and while I'm keepin' all those balls in the air (teehee), I'm also tryin' to avoid gettin' the fuckin' Black Plague that seems to have the entire country in its gnarled death grip!

These bitches up in here BET NOT give me their SARS right before I leave for a 2-week trip! I've been sick while on vacay before and shit ain't cute. Trust!

I'm really hopin' I'll get to post while I'm down there, but it's lookin' pretty slim. Get this shit: our resort doesn't have wireless in the buildings! They say we can spend $25/week ($50 total!)to use the WiFi in the main lobby (like, out in the open, in front of Jesus & er'body!), or we have to use the dial up.

Dial up?! What the hell is that?! That's like, soooo 1990s! Sheesh! And besides, Momma needs her privacy!

Anyhoo, here are a few random tidbits from the mind of the Kween:

• Mike Hampton's back on the mound (simulation only)
• I'll be the crazy bitch at the Braves game on March 20. I apologize for anything that may or may not happen while I'm in attendance
• I've upped my usual fantasy baseball leagues from 1 to 3 (I'm sure I'll suck in all 3 and embarrass myself, as per usual)
• Christian "Ferocia Coutura" Siriano is our new Project Runway winner
• American Idol is pretty spiffy this season (although David "Gay Stripper Hotness" Hernandez just got the boot! What the...?! Who the fuck is votin' for Kristy Lee Cook? Go play with your PS2s (or *yourselves*) you horny 15-year-old boys! My new obsession is Jason Castro anyway....)
• Brit Brit's all "normal" & shit now -- bah, BORING!
• Jennifer Aniston & Owen Wilson are "canoodling" onset. zzzzzzzzz
• The Yankees & Devil Rays are already kickin' the shit out of each other (literally) and throwin' 'bows. Love the dramz! Oh, and how *key-yute* is Jonny Gomes!?!?!
• Fuggie Fug & Josh Duhamel are still engaged, I guess. Crap.
• And for all you pervy people all over the world who find your way to the Kastle by way of a "Jeremy Roloff hot" Google search, here he is. And, I'm not certain, but there may be a coupla Jonas Brothers in that photo, too:
  
  
  

P.S. -- Stay strong, Papa! Love you!

What Is The Deal With These Fools?

Maybe it's because I'm an old, crusty broad, but I just don't see the appeal with the Jonas Brothers.



I can get with the "tween sensations" -- Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Suite Life of Zach & Cody, etc. Let's face it, I have a 9-year-old so the Disney Channel is 24/7 en mi casa.

And perhaps I was Miley Cyrus in a former life. Or a drag queen. Don't judge.

My point is, I've gone through photos upon photos of these twats on the internet (there are a million of 'em out there) and I can't find one single image where I think they look remotely cute.

Perez Hilton is, like, the Jonas Brothers' biggest fan, and I swear, he posts about 3 stories a day about 'em. I love me some PH, but here's one from the other day where P-Nasty talks about how their stylist should get a raise.

Huh? Their stylist should be shot! There's no way in hell I'd let my spawn walk around in public lookin' like that!

I don't know how you'd even describe their style: Like the Beatles meets the Monkees meets Oliver Twist. Whatever.

I absolutely hate -- I repeat, HATE -- skinny pants on dudes. Hate 'em on women, too, but sweet Jesus, how do these boys sit down in those damn pants!?!?!?! They must have small junk.


The one in the middle looks like Pat Benetar & Rick Springfield had a love child back in the day.


UGH!! Quit tryin' so effin' hard!!!


Menudo, anyone?


Again with the Oliver Twist/magician look!


God Bless America??? God bless those *scarves*!


That gray jacket looks like somethin' Mary Jo Shively (or Anthony Bouvier) woulda worn on Designing Women!