So Long, Tex...So Long, 2008 Season

(photo: Steve Mitchell, US Presswire)

It's now old news that Mark Teixeira was traded by the Atlanta Braves to the Los Angeles California Anaheim Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for 1B Casey Kotchman & P Stephen Marek.

Can't say I'm thrilled about it, but I also wasn't happy when Edgar Renteria was signed a coupla years ago. He eventually became one of "my boys" and I was sad to see him leave.

It takes me a while to warm up to new players on my team. What can I say, I'm a bitch. (hush yer mouth)

I'm really gonna miss Tex's switch hitting skills -- and his glove! Homegirl's defense is sick! Gonna be hard to replace that aspect of his game.

Tex was quoted as saying, "I thought I'd be here (in Atlanta) the rest of my career."

I call bullshit.

I understand his ties to the area, but he knew comin' here last July that Frankie Wren & Co. was never gonna pay him the kinda dollaz that Scott Boras demands. We don't have bottomless pockets like the Red Sox, the Yankees, yaddy yaddy. Tex seems like a great guy, but there's somethin' to be said about havin' a ruthless snake of an agent like Borass!


Now, on to the annihilation of the "2008 Season of Shoulda Coulda Wouldas":



Prior to Tex packin' his bags, the Braves packed its season, jumped in the terrlit and flushed.

I was so nervous about the weekend series with the Phillies that I couldn't even blog about it beforehand. Friday's game had me feelin' hopeful, but, again, I couldn't blog it. I just couldn't jinx us.

Turns out, they didn't need my help...

Saturday's debacle was excruciating. The oh-so-hyped resurrection of Mike "I'm Made of Paper" Hampton, the 6-run lead, the coming-alive of our flaccid offense...things were lookin' good!

But, what happened? Oh yea, Royce Ring & Blaine Boyer happened. (Yes, I know they weren't the *only* players at fault, but I'm blamin' 'em 'cause I can't stand 'em!)

If we thought Saturday was rough, we had no idea what was in store for us mere hours later...

Sunday brought torrential downpours and another horrid freak show of bullpen prowess (eye roll). The pitching *again* managed to blow a huge lead and we bit it. Hard.

We soooo needed to (at least) take 2-3 from the Phils. Or sweep! But there's no fire in this team. Finally manage to score a shit-load of runs in a series and still hand it over to the opposition. Pretty sure the Phils and their fans are laughin' at us. Oh, and Mets and their fans, too.

Monday saw the St. Louis Cardinals fly into town for a 4-game set, and the Cards brought a coupla ass whoopin's with 'em.

What I thought was funny about last night's game was the fact that Ryan Ray Franklin got the win for Saint Loo-ee. Believe it or not, I dated dude waaaaaaay back in the day! HA! Crazy, huh?! I digress...

So as it stands now, the Braves are 49-57, 8.5 games behind the Mets.

Chipper Jones, Tim Hudson, John Smoltz, Manny Acosta, Pete Moylan, Tom Glavine & Matt Diaz are all on the shelf and Brian McCann's melon is busted so he's outta the lineup, too!

Sigh.......It's been one helluva season, ladies. One helluva season.

Thankfully, Jair Jurrjens takes to the hill tonight. JJ's one of only a few bright spots starring in this tragic comedy.

And one final note: MoonKween's '08-'09 fantasy football draft is Aug. 15!! WOOT!!

Let's take a walk down memory lane to last year's crappy season, shall we?

Just By The Hair Of Gonzo's Chinny-Chin-Chin

After a *ahem* hairy 9th inning, the ever so gorgeous & talented Mike Gonzalez was able to notch his 34th consecutive save Friday night by getting Austin Kearns to fly out to, who else, Mr. Snoozefest himself, Jeff Francoeur. (Sorry, dude's puttin' me in a coma these days...)

Whew. The disgusting Mets (finally) lost tonight but the Phillies won. Boo! Hiss!

(The ever so gorgeous & talented Mike Gonzalez, far left. Photo: northfultontimes.com)

No ground gained for the Braves in the NL East with the 7-6 win over the Washington Nationals, but at least they didn't fall in the standings.

Congrats, Huddy, on win #10. Long over-due, my man.

It's on you, JJ! Let's get 'em again tomorrow, boyz! The time is *now* for the Braves to remove heads from asses!

(I'm such a lady...)

Shit, if the Mets can go on a tear, why can't we??

2008 MLB All-Stars Announced

Let me start by saying that the entire Cubs 40-man roster is goin' to the All-Star game. Those a-holes and their fans totally stuffed the ballot boxes!

Oh, and the Red Sox, too. F*ckers.

(Starters in bold.)

AL
1B: Kevin Youkilis, BOS
2B: Dustin Pedroia, BOS
3B: A-Rod, NYY
SS: Derek Jeter, NYY (gag!)
OF: Josh Hamilton, TEX (1st selection) YAY!! Love him! Sober since Oct. 2005. Glory be to God!
OF: Manny Ramirez, BOS (gag! so sick of this bitch)
OF: Ichiro Suzuki, SEA
DH: David Ortiz, BOS (Milton Bradley will be takin' his spot)
C: Joe Mauer, MIN
P: Scott Kazmir, TB
P: George Sherrill, BAL (who?!?!)
P: Roy Halladay, TOR
P: Mariano Rivera, NYY
P: Jonathan Papelbon, BOS
P: Justin Duchscherer, OAK
P: Joe Nathan, MIN
P: Joakim Soria, KC
P: Cliff Lee, CLE
P: Francisco Rodriguez, LAA
P: Ervin Santana, LAA
P: Joe Saunders, LAA
Reserve: J. D. Drew, BOS
Reserve: Jason Varitek, BOS
Reserve: Joe Crede, CWS
Reserve: Carlos Quentin, CWS
Reserve: Grady Sizemore, CLE
Reserve: Carlos Guillen, DET
Reserve: Justin Morneau, MIN
Reserve: Milton Bradley, TEX
Reserve: Ian Kinsler, TEX
Reserve: Michael Young, TEX
Reserve: Dioner Navarro, TB

NL
1B: Lance Berkman, HOU
2B: Chase Utley, PHI
3B: Chipper Jones, ATL (YAY!)
SS: Hanley Ramirez, FLA
OF: Ryan Braun, MIL
OF: Alfonso Soriano, CHC (been out since June 7 after being hit in the hand by a Jeff Bennett pitch)
OF: Kosuke Fukudome, CHC (there's no way in hell this dude should start the All-Star game. Carols Lee or Corey Hart should get the nod before this wanker. That just goes back to the ballot-stuffin' in Chicago...)
C: Geovany Soto, CHC
P: Aaron Cook, COL
P: Tim Lincecum, SF
P: Dan Haren, ARI
P: Ben Sheets, MIL
P: Carlos Zambrano, CHC
P: Brandon Webb, ARI
P: Ryan Dempster, CHC
P: Brian Wilson, SF
P: Edinson Volquez, CIN
P: Kerry Wood, CHC
P: Brad Lidge, PHI
P: Billy Wagner, NYM
Reserve: Brian McCann, ATL
Reserve: Aramis Ramirez, CHC
Reserve: Matt Holliday, COL
Reserve: Dan Uggla, FLA
Reserve: Miguel Tejada, HOU
Reserve: Russell Martin, LAD
Reserve: Nate McLouth, PIT
Reserve: Albert Pujols, STL
Reserve: Ryan Ludwick, STL
Reserve: Adrian Gonzalez, SD
Reserve: Cristian Guzman, WAS

What the fuckity fuck is Brian McCann doin' a reserve!? And where the fuckity fuck is Jair Jurrjens?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

How could Dan Heren be a selection while JJ's not even an honorable mention!? Not. Happy.

I'm sure we're all sick of hearin' it, but it bears repeating: What a story Josh Hamilton is!

I saw his interview with the TBS crew today and he really is an inspiration. Out of the game for over 3 years, druggie, shoulda been dead or in prison, etc., etc., etc. And here he is, makin' his first All-Star appearance. Two little girls and a third on the way...Beautiful.

Bittersweet stories like this one threaten to melt my cold, black heart. I'll be a Hammer fan for life.

And it's good to see Harold Reynolds on TV again, after this little mess a while back.

Braves Win 2 In A Row

Against the New York Mets no less...

My Braves won 3-1.



I was totally geeked about the John Smoltz/Johan Santana match-up, this being the first start for John since coming off the DL. I couldn't have asked for more from the almost-41-year-old veteran!

He only pitched 5 innings, but struck out 6 and allowed only 2 hits. He also walked 2.

Johan threw 7 innings, gave up 7 hits and 1 earned run.

Since JS only pitched 5 innings, it left the onus on the bullpen to hold the lead. As in seasons past, I've done my fair share of cursing the Braves relief pitching, but today I shall rejoice.

I'm sure tomorrow I'll return to my potty-mouth ways when the bullpen is unleashed, but for now, I'll enjoy the love I feel for Blaine Boyer, Will Ohman, Pete Moylan & Rafael Soriano.

Although, I must say this: GET YER HEAD OUTTA YER ASS, SORIANO! YER MAKIN' ME NERVOUS!!!!

Ok, I feel better.

Now, it's off to Colorado for a 4-game set against the Rockies. Scheduled starters for those 4 games will be Tom Glavine, Jair Jurrjens, Chuck James & Tim Hudson, respectively.

Go Braves!!!!!