Cougars 4 Cook

Ok, so I didn't vote for David "Hot Lips" Cook 473 times after last Tuesday's American Idol finale -- in fact, I never voted once this year...for anybody -- and I'm not a 40-something suburban soccer-mom, but it's obvious now that Fly Honey's fan base wasn't of the 15-year-old female persuasion.



"Cougars 4 Cook" had my future ex-husband's voting line on speed-dial, propelling him to victory by 12+ million votes over David "Zygote" Archuleta.


The AP writes: "Maybe it's his edgy-yet-mainstream appeal, sly grin, sparkling hazel eyes, facial scruff, love for crossword puzzles, love for his mom and brothers. Or perhaps it's the way he broke down in tears after his final performance..."


See, I'm not the only wrinkled old bag who's hot for his jock and his crossword puzzles.


He's just got that...thang about him. Ya know, that thang!


But it kinda makes me wonder, where were all the Cougars when Chris Daughtry got the boot a few years ago? Wasn't he supposed to be, like, *the* hottest? Don't get me wrong, Daughtry's done pretty damn well for himself since Idol, but I was kinda surprised that he didn't go further in the competition.


Oh well. I guess the Cougars just know what they like. And they luuurve Hot Lips.


Sigh.......Idol's over. Survivor's over. Grey's Anatomy's over. Brothers & Sisters is over.


If it weren't for baseball season to get me through the next four months, I would need therapy. Television therapy.


Side note: As of Memorial Day 2008, the Atlanta Braves are 27-23 & 2.5 games out of 1st.

David Cook Is Sensitive

C'Mon Hot Lips!

I feel like dog barf. Probably look like it, too. Seriously.

You know it's bad when I don't feel like bloggin'...I always got shit to say.

I don't even feel like talkin' about my future-ex-husband, David "Hot Lips" Cook, possibly losing on the American Idol finale tonight.



You know David "Zygote" Archuleta's gonna take the crown. But that's fine with me...it's almost better if you *don't* win that shit. The runners-up seem to have more success than the winners.

And like I've said, I'll be the warm vagina, I mean, um, *shoulder*, that Hot Lips can cry on when the ballons & confetti come rainin' down on Zygote's head instead of his own.

Just An Observation

I told y'all bitches that attendance would climb with "David Cook Day" in Kansas City.

Attendance for the Royals' game on May 8 = 11,000
Attendance for David Cook Day on May 9th = 22,000

See, them MLB marketing hos know what they're doin'. When you book my future ex-husband, he makes magic happen.

Too bad he can't hit the road with my Braves to help with their many, many away-from-home woes. Sigh.

Ok, so the hot piece ain't a miracle worker.....the Royals lost 7-4 to the Baltimore Orioles on David Cook Day. :-(

That's alright. He's still got a warm bed waitin' for him in Michigan.

Putting Butts In Seats

The Kansas City Royals organization knows how to milk the hell out of a cash cow, and I love it.



Future American Idol 7 winner, and my future 2nd husband (yea, I said it), David Cook, will be the "guest of honor" at the May 9 Baltimore Orioles/Royals game at Kauffman Stadium.

But here's the catch: He has to live through the next round of voting and land in the top 3 for his Big Day to become reality. Umm, I don't think that'll be a problem, do you?

The Blue Springs, MO, native will get to throw out the first pitch, sing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" during the stretch, and take part in play-by-play in the broadcast booth for a hot minute.

I guess when your stadium capacity is 40,785 but you only averaged 19,961 last season, you gotta do somethin' to get the American public to show up for your games. Me thinks havin' the hottest contestant on the biggest TV show makin' an appearance will put the asses in the seats.



And for shits & giggles, let's take a look at my man Elliott Yamin when he had his moment of glory at a gutter-butt Richmond Braves game a coupla years ago. Love him!!