Lie To Me! PLEASE PageSix, Lie To Me!

If this actually happens at Super Bowl XLII (Feb. 3), I will denounce the sport forever!

PageSix.com is reportin' that Paula Abdul WILL perform during the half-time show. Holy Mary Mother of God.



And that's not even the worst part of the story. Megan Lynn posts that "Fox will have Ryan Seacrest host the event, interviewing celeb sport fans on a "red carpet," before Paula takes the stage."

Have mercy on my soul.

First of all, football is a manly sport. Fat, sweaty behemoths hittin', kickin' & cussin' one another. And that's just in the stands.

There is no room (I repeat, NO ROOM) for Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat at the fuckin' Super Bowl! What the hell would this mess sing?! Bitch ain't had a hit record since 1912 or some shit.



Reportedly, she'll be joined by Randy "Welcome To the Dawg Pound, That Was Hot!" Jackson for a rendition of "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow".

If I have to watch that shit, there *will* be no tomorrow for me.

$20 she warbles "Rush, Rush"!! Now THAT's a half-time show, bitches!!!!!