Separated By A Cheap Pleather Jacket & A Brown Weave

Donna Mills circa 1984, is that you?

No, it's Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, lookin' like a 45-year-old ex-stripper addicted to Restylane and Merle Norman Total Finish cake foundation.

Not real sure who was in charge of Hannah's get-up for the Grammys on Sunday, but DAYUM!! Hopefully homegirl (or homeboy) is on her way back to her old job at Sally Beauty Supply.

Poor Miley looks like a blow-up doll.

I know you're all young & shit, Miley, so you may not know this, but "blow-up doll" is not a good look for the red carpet, sweetie.





Miley's only 15 years old!!!!! Shouldn't a 15-year-old have REAL EYEBROWS these days?!?! Shit!

And a trout-pout on a high school freshman is all kindsa not cute. If I could, I'd bitch-slap the highlights right off of Billy Ray's head for allowin' this to take place right under his surgically-enhanced nose!

Miley kinda looks like a flesh-colored balloon filled with sand...Sad.