Let's Kiss Our Asses Goodbye

The Associated Press reports that a dead spy satellite could hit the planet in a few weeks.

We're all gonna die! Actually, with my luck, the damn thing'll land on my head as I'm returnin' from the mailbox after pickin' up my packages of Diamonique from QVC. Hey, say what ya will, but Diamonique's the shit! It's worth dyin' for...

The out-of-control satellite, which may contain hazardous materials, could land anywhere on the planet.

Please, please, please, please, please land on Britney's ass! And maybe Adnoid Ghaleeeeeeeeeeb will be in close proximity so the projectile will take him out, too! Yesssss!

But if it hits Brit, then 98% of the paparazzi population will also perish, and then where would I get my much-needed fix of Brit Brit pix?! Oh hell, it's a catch-22!

OK, satellite, don't take the superstar celebutard, take me! I'm not worthy!



Here's a clip from the other night when Adnoid was on Entertainment Tonight whorin' private voicemails from Miz Spears. He's such a winner.

I wish that Brazilian on his chin would jump up & bitch-slap his ass.