Baseball In Steroids

I love baseball. That's it. Pure and simple.

It breaks my heart to hear the things currently being said & done in the greatest sport ever.

Things such as this, and this, and this. It's everywhere!

I've been pretty mum on this subject so far. Not because I don't have anything of substance to say about steroids in baseball (although it's true that I probably don't.....you decide), but because it makes me sick.


(Image: ESPN.com)

Was I surprised that Jose Canseco wrote a book calling out former teammates on their steroid use? No. The actions of lonely, bitter people rarely shock me.

Was I surprised when Barry Bonds became the center of 'roid-use speculation because he gained 5 million pounds of muscle over the course of a few years? No. But I figured "hey, dude's gettin' old, he's probably just hittin' the gym to stay in shape to be competitive." So I'm naive. Don't judge.

I guess what finally shocked me was seeing the players' names in the Mitchell report, released Dec. 13. I grew up watching these guys. I know their histories.

I've never "idolized" any baseball player for his strengths on the field. In fact, I've never really even had a favorite player. Unless you count the little-girl crush I had on Gregg Jefferies when I was in the 8th grade, but I don't count that shit. (Sidebar: I remember that year for Christmas, I got every single Jefferies collectible under the sun (autographed player cards, pictures, posters, figurines, t-shirts, you name it!) Hey, what can I say, I was convinced that I was gonna marry the dude one day. I digress.)

Let's just say that I never considered MLB players to be role models, but that's probably because I'm a female. I suppose if I was a 10-year-boy who was a Yankees fan, I may dream of growing up to be Derek Jeter. I guess I just never put too much stock in the players themselves.

Ya see, I just love the game.

• I love sitting in the stands with 35,000 people who enjoy the game as much as I do.
• I love the (overpriced) beer and hot dogs.
• I love the delayed sound of the crack of the bat as I'm sitting 400 feet away in the right-center field bleachers.
• I love the cheesy little promotions a team puts on between innings to keep attending fans interested.
• I love batting practice.
• I love rain delays.
• I love TBS for allowing me to watch my beloved Atlanta Braves on TV year after year for too many to remember. (Thanks Skip & Pete!)
• I love the sound of the vendors selling their wares.
• I love a well-executed hit-&-run.
• I love the look on my son's face as he cheers after a spectacular play made by an outfielder.
• I love successful pick-off plays.
• I love to sway back & forth with the crowd as we all join in for "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" during the 7th inning stretch.
• I love the wave.
• I love beach balls being batted around the stands on a hot summer day.
• I love no hitters.
• And of course, I love home runs.

I love all of the little nuances that make the game what it is. But to be completely honest, I've never really given two shits about the players themselves. For the most part, they're all over-paid, whiney little bitches.

It's sad that this large group of men -- and I'm sure there are many, many more than just those listed in the Mitchell report -- have collectively ruined the NAME of the game I love so much. I say they ruined the "NAME" of the game, because to me, they didn't ruin the game itself.

No one will ever ruin the game of baseball for me.

The Braves could run the cast of Cocoon out on the field 162 games in a row and I wouldn't care one damn bit. It's the game that I love, not the cheaters players.

So until I see Wilford Brimley behind the plate and Jessica Tandy at short, I say Selig should institute a baseball law that every single player on every single team be tested monthly for banned substances. If you can't handle that, players, then get the fuck off my field!

Problem solved.

(steps off soapbox)