Showin' Some Love

I'm watchin' the home run derby on ESPN right now and also browsin' one of my favorite blogs, BravesLove.

Lauren is currently doing a live derby commentary. Check out BravesLove sometime and tell her the Kween sent'cha!

Just givin' my homegirl a shout out!

Oh, and the Hammer's throwin' it DOWN!

Final round, lambs!

Hammer, don't hurt 'em!

Peas!

Update: Dang, Hammer didn't hurt 'em in the last round! :-(

10:52 p.m. EST and he didn't win! BOO!!!!

Umm, Frenchy's Back? Already?

Christmas came early for Jeff Francoeur.



While I'm sure there are thousands of people who are thrilled that Frenchy was recalled from AA Mississippi today, you can't count me as one of those happy revelers.

I have 2 reasons for my thinking, which I'll discuss in a bit.

3 days.

That's it. He was in the minors for 3 effin' days.

What started as a "minimum of 10 days" became 72 hours.

What the hell?!?!

I don't buy what GM Frank Wren's sellin': That he didn't recall Francoeur because of "injuries" sustained by Braves players over the weekend. Where the hell is Brandon Jones?! Why can't he play? Or Josh Anderson?

Francoeur was the ONLY option? And it was the way he was hittin' the cover off the ball in a dozen ABs?

I call bullshit, Frankie!

Don't get me wrong, for the sake of my team, I hope dude rebounds & hits .538 for the remainder of the season in an Atlanta Braves uniform and helps carry this club to the World Series, but I don't see that happenin'. I'd like to believe that he's cured of his shittiness at the plate.

Reason #1 the Kween's not happy: The Golden Child of Atlanta has yet another call go in his favor. Not sayin' he doesn't work hard, but this kid has seemingly had every opportunity handed to him -- he's the Face of the Braves Future. Why not leave him in Mississippi and let him get his groove back? Frank Wren, you're a joke.

And suddenly, Frenchy's "putting aside hard feelings" now that he's gotten the call-up. Hmm. Funny how that happens.



Reason #2 the Kween's not happy: So he went 7-13 in 3 games and hit .538 for the Mississippi Braves. So what?

The dude was sent down because he didn't have a handle on the strike zone, he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and he was overwhelmed by major league pitching.

And after 3 short days with Phillip Wellman he's completely transformed? Not a chance.

So he "tears up the minor leagues" and all of a sudden, he's back in the bigs? Then why not bring up *every* minor leaguer who gets lucky & hits .500+ in 3 games. Ooh, yea, let's do that!

The revolving doors of Major League Baseball...

Shit, let's call up Reid Gorecki! He's hittin' .429 after goin' 3-7 in 2 games!

Umm, no. That would be riDONKulus and so is this Frenchy decision.

Braves Win Long One

1 hour 55 minute rain delay

5 hour 35 minute game

17 innings

Longest game in Turner Field history

Braves 7, Astros 6

Players of the game: Tex & Syndrome

Not much else to say. Have a great road trip, fellas!


(Brant Sanderlin/AJC)

He Should Just Settle & Get It Over With

Cynthia Rodriguez wants a divorce and will file tomorrow.

Oh snap!

If Alex Rodriguez allows his divorce to go to trial (a la Christie Brinkley & Peter Cook -- YIKES!), all hell will break loose.

According to "sources" (eye roll), A-Rod not only has had extra-marital affairs but has also been "brainwashed" by Madonna and her kabbalahlalalaballahahlala.

Madonna denies that there's anything shady goin' on with the slugger, but her marriage to Guy Ritchie is also reportedly on the rocks.

And not to be outdone, C-Rod is supposedly sleepin' with Lenny Kravitz. Who the hell can keep up with these sluts! Dayum!

You'll remember last year A-Rod was accused of entering a strip club with a "mystery blonde". Hell, for all I know, she just happened to be in the background of the photo. Maybe he didn't even know her so who's to say he was having an affair. Umm, yea.

Anyhoobs, the divorce suit also claims "emotional abandonment". And if the reports are to be believed, A-Rod has only seen his 10-week-old daughter, Ella, a handful of times.

But if you had an inkling that your hubby was sleepin' around last year, *why* would you have another baby with him?!?!

The couple also has a 3-year-old daughter, Natasha.

Sad. Sad.

2008 MLB All-Stars Announced

Let me start by saying that the entire Cubs 40-man roster is goin' to the All-Star game. Those a-holes and their fans totally stuffed the ballot boxes!

Oh, and the Red Sox, too. F*ckers.

(Starters in bold.)

AL
1B: Kevin Youkilis, BOS
2B: Dustin Pedroia, BOS
3B: A-Rod, NYY
SS: Derek Jeter, NYY (gag!)
OF: Josh Hamilton, TEX (1st selection) YAY!! Love him! Sober since Oct. 2005. Glory be to God!
OF: Manny Ramirez, BOS (gag! so sick of this bitch)
OF: Ichiro Suzuki, SEA
DH: David Ortiz, BOS (Milton Bradley will be takin' his spot)
C: Joe Mauer, MIN
P: Scott Kazmir, TB
P: George Sherrill, BAL (who?!?!)
P: Roy Halladay, TOR
P: Mariano Rivera, NYY
P: Jonathan Papelbon, BOS
P: Justin Duchscherer, OAK
P: Joe Nathan, MIN
P: Joakim Soria, KC
P: Cliff Lee, CLE
P: Francisco Rodriguez, LAA
P: Ervin Santana, LAA
P: Joe Saunders, LAA
Reserve: J. D. Drew, BOS
Reserve: Jason Varitek, BOS
Reserve: Joe Crede, CWS
Reserve: Carlos Quentin, CWS
Reserve: Grady Sizemore, CLE
Reserve: Carlos Guillen, DET
Reserve: Justin Morneau, MIN
Reserve: Milton Bradley, TEX
Reserve: Ian Kinsler, TEX
Reserve: Michael Young, TEX
Reserve: Dioner Navarro, TB

NL
1B: Lance Berkman, HOU
2B: Chase Utley, PHI
3B: Chipper Jones, ATL (YAY!)
SS: Hanley Ramirez, FLA
OF: Ryan Braun, MIL
OF: Alfonso Soriano, CHC (been out since June 7 after being hit in the hand by a Jeff Bennett pitch)
OF: Kosuke Fukudome, CHC (there's no way in hell this dude should start the All-Star game. Carols Lee or Corey Hart should get the nod before this wanker. That just goes back to the ballot-stuffin' in Chicago...)
C: Geovany Soto, CHC
P: Aaron Cook, COL
P: Tim Lincecum, SF
P: Dan Haren, ARI
P: Ben Sheets, MIL
P: Carlos Zambrano, CHC
P: Brandon Webb, ARI
P: Ryan Dempster, CHC
P: Brian Wilson, SF
P: Edinson Volquez, CIN
P: Kerry Wood, CHC
P: Brad Lidge, PHI
P: Billy Wagner, NYM
Reserve: Brian McCann, ATL
Reserve: Aramis Ramirez, CHC
Reserve: Matt Holliday, COL
Reserve: Dan Uggla, FLA
Reserve: Miguel Tejada, HOU
Reserve: Russell Martin, LAD
Reserve: Nate McLouth, PIT
Reserve: Albert Pujols, STL
Reserve: Ryan Ludwick, STL
Reserve: Adrian Gonzalez, SD
Reserve: Cristian Guzman, WAS

What the fuckity fuck is Brian McCann doin' a reserve!? And where the fuckity fuck is Jair Jurrjens?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

How could Dan Heren be a selection while JJ's not even an honorable mention!? Not. Happy.

I'm sure we're all sick of hearin' it, but it bears repeating: What a story Josh Hamilton is!

I saw his interview with the TBS crew today and he really is an inspiration. Out of the game for over 3 years, druggie, shoulda been dead or in prison, etc., etc., etc. And here he is, makin' his first All-Star appearance. Two little girls and a third on the way...Beautiful.

Bittersweet stories like this one threaten to melt my cold, black heart. I'll be a Hammer fan for life.

And it's good to see Harold Reynolds on TV again, after this little mess a while back.

Mike Hampton Pitched And Didn't Injure Himself

Do my eyes deceive me?

The AJC reported that Mike "I'm Made of Paper" Hampton threw five scoreless innings in Myrtle Beach on Saturday night...and his body is still in tact! Woot!

Hampton's been workin' that pec muscle for, like, yeeeears now. Dayum, he coulda had every muscle in his body replaced and still been back in the rotation by now! I digress...

Hampton will also join Jeff Francoeur and Matt Diaz in Jacksonville to pitch for AA Mississippi on Thursday.

Family Bravos reunion!

I hope those Mississippi Braves fans are enjoyin' themselves down there. They get to see these hos play for, like, $8 or something. All those folks at Turner Field have had to pay out the nose to see Frenchy stink it up lately.

(Photo by Mississippi Braves. Dayum! Thank you, Mississippi Braves. Thank you.)

Oh, and in 8 ABs, Frenchy is hitting .375 with 3 H, 2 R, 1 RBI, 1BB & 1 SO.

Poor Matty's hittin' only .143 in 7 ABs with 1 H, 1 R, 1 BB, 1 SO & 1 SB. Yesssss! A stolen base! Me thinks that gimpy knee is feelin' better.

Let's remember Frenchy & Matty in happier times:




(Perhaps not such a happy time for Matty...)

See Ya In A Coupla Weeks

(photo: Brant Sanderlin/AJC)

Look, even Chino Cadahia's sickened in the photo above.

As I'm sure you've heard, my struggling Atlanta Braves sent struggling Jeff Francoeur down to the minors today and called up Jason Perry to replace the star in right field.

This is one of the best moves the Braves have made all year, in my opinion.

But opinions are like assholes...

I've read blogs where folks are saying they're "so sad" by the move; they really feel bad for Frenchy. Wah, wah, wah.

I read a story today where Jeff was quoted as saying "This has really put a damper on my relationship with the Atlanta Braves."

Umm, you can't tell me you were the ONLY person who didn't see this comin', Jeffrey! So how could this possibly hurt your relationship with the ballclub? We've been told time after time that "baseball is a business". As much as it sucks, it's the troof!

The story went on as such: 'I love playing for the city. I love playing for the fans and always have,' said Francoeur, who grew up in Gwinnett County. 'But I'm disappointed with the decision and how the whole process went down.'

He has lived a mostly charmed baseball life since he arrived from Mississippi three years ago — hitting a three-run home run in his major-league debut July 7, 2005, and making the cover of Sports Illustrated later that season, but his struggles this season led to his demotion.

However, Francoeur said he thought he might have been warned ahead of time what the team was considering. He said Thursday's conversation — which lasted maybe five minutes — came as a surprise to him after playing nearly every day for three seasons."

What kind of warning do you need?? Shouldn't your numbers speak loudly enough as a warning? It's not like a .234 BA sneaked up on yo' ass!

Pardon me, but if Cal "Iron Man" Ripken had a BA of .234 after 2,000 games, his ass wouldn't've started game #2,001, so don't gimme that crap, Jeffrey Brandon.

(Dave O'Brien of the AJC listed Jeff's 2008 season stats and it ain't pretty.)

And let's just set the record straight: the Braves let Frenchy make the choice of where he wanted to go. Richmond vs. Mississippi (AAA vs. AA). And he said he wanted to go to Mississippi, which is where his former hitting coach is located.

Not many teams would give a player an option -- they'd just *tell* you where you were goin'.

And that former hitting coach is none other than Phillip Wellman. You 'member him, right? If not, watch the clip below.



I'll close by saying that I wish Frenchy nothing but the best. He *is* an Atlanta Brave and I know his fans and teammates can't wait for him to return home...

...with a better knowledge of the strike zone.

..............................................................................................................

And btw, Perry was 1-4 with an RBI tonight. heehee

Are The Atlanta Braves Worthy Of My Affection?

I've asked myself this question numerous times over the past 20 or so years. Even at the pinnacle of the Braves' success in the 90s, at some point in every season, this team pisses me off.

Yes, we've endured heartbreak as fans of this team, but I get the feelin' this 2008 season will do us all in. This team will be the death of me.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I don't really even want to watch them anymore this season. I'm sick of all the bullshit:

• Will Mark Teixeira stay or go at the end of the season?
  
• Should Jeff Francoeur be benched for a while?
  
• Is Kelly Johnson a true lead-off hitter?
  
• Is Yunel Escobar a true lead-off hitter?
  
• Will we get a slugging outfielder to help with our hitting woes?
  
• Do we need a couple more (reliable) arms in the bullpen?
  
• Will we acquire another (reliable, established) starter for our rotation?
  
• Why is it that this team can't play good, sound, fundamental baseball?
  
• How many more years will pass before Mike Hampton pitches again?
  
• Was Mark Kotsay a mistake? (Although, Joey Devine - the player we traded to Oakland for Kotsay - has been on the DL since the end of May so he ain't exactly helpin' his team either.)
  
• Does Bobby Cox need to hang it up? Is he senile? Why oh why does he make the decisions that he makes?
  
• Why the hell is Blaine Boyer in the majors? Moreso, why the hell is he on my team?
  
• How many games out of first place will we be come September 1?
  
• How many games under .500 will we be come September 1?

I think I summed up my love for the Braves in my first blog post ever. But now I'm not really feelin' 'em. I'm tired of gettin' beat down night after night.

They need to light a fire under their asses. All of 'em! The one time (all season) that I've seen life on the field was on June 18 when the gorgeous & talented Mike Gonzalez came out with guns a'blazin' and got his first save in over a year. He was on FIRE! He was pumped! It was great...



But the rest of this team plays like shit. It's like they're all in a coma.

Oh, and I'm pretty convinced that June 18 was the last time the Braves won a game. (sarcasm)

So I think I'd have more fun gettin' my choch Brazilian waxed than watchin' these hos get swept by the Phillies. Sigh.

Shit, who'm'I kiddin'? I'll be watchin' tonight. It's that whole abusive boyfriend thing...I love him as much as I hate him.

Phils Option Myers To Triple-A

I'm a firm believer in karma. I understand that whole "what goes around comes around" crapola.

As far as I'm concerned (which ain't a lot) Brett Myers being demoted to the minor leagues was pure karma, baby!

Back in the spring, Wife Beater pulled this little "prank" on fellow Phillies pitcher Kyle Kendrick. If you don't have time to watch the video, here's a run-down: funny man Myers tells Kendrick that he's been traded to Japan's Yomiuri Giants for a player named Kobayashi Iwamura. MLB players can't be traded to Japan but poor KK didn't know that. Huge, elaborate joke. KK's freakin' out. Blahzay, blahzay.

Here's what I think is so great: Kendrick is 8-3 this season. He's 8-3 and Wife Beater is 3-9.

(On a sad note, Kendrick's 8th win came against my less-than-stellar Atlanta Braves tonight. Boo hoo.)

Myers is just one more "established" pitcher to find himself schleppin' it in the minors this season. Say hi to Dontrelle for us!

But I will say this: I commend Myers for not choking, punching, slapping, pummeling or beating anyone in his organization (or his wife!) upon makin' the decision to go down.

These People Are RiDONKulus

Just a few days ago, Houston Astros pitcher Shawn "Chokeon" Chacon was told to hit the road after he body-slammed his general manager, now the Red Sox's Manny Ramirez is bein' a douche.

Again.

Yawn.

Manny was pissed at the club's traveling secretary, Jack McCormick, because he couldn't get 16 tickets for family members at the last minute. Poor JMc wasn't able to pull 'em outta his ass fast enough, so Manny pushed him to the ground.

JMc is 64 years old!

Senior citizen abuse ain't cute. Just ask Don Zimmer.





Ya know, I'm with this guy.

And this guy -- when IS Boston gonna start kickin' Manny's ass?! For God's sake, it's not like HE'S real worried about hurtin' anybody's feelings. He seems to be able to get away with whatever the hell he wants to; can do whatever the hell he wants to.

Ken Rosenthal has a point...it's time for the Red Sox to take out the trash next season. Let this bitch go.

Watch! The Braves'll sign him! HA!

They need a "slugger" in the lineup & Manny's slugged a myriad of folks this season.