For entertainment purposes only...my entertainment.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Are The Atlanta Braves Worthy Of My Affection?

I've asked myself this question numerous times over the past 20 or so years. Even at the pinnacle of the Braves' success in the 90s, at some point in every season, this team pisses me off.

Yes, we've endured heartbreak as fans of this team, but I get the feelin' this 2008 season will do us all in. This team will be the death of me.

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I don't really even want to watch them anymore this season. I'm sick of all the bullshit:

  • Will Mark Teixeira stay or go at the end of the season?
  • Should Jeff Francoeur be benched for a while?
  • Is Kelly Johnson a true lead-off hitter?
  • Is Yunel Escobar a true lead-off hitter?
  • Will we get a slugging outfielder to help with our hitting woes?
  • Do we need a couple more (reliable) arms in the bullpen?
  • Will we acquire another (reliable, established) starter for our rotation?
  • Why is it that this team can't play good, sound, fundamental baseball?
  • How many more years will pass before Mike Hampton pitches again?
  • Was Mark Kotsay a mistake? (Although, Joey Devine - the player we traded to Oakland for Kotsay - has been on the DL since the end of May so he ain't exactly helpin' his team either.)
  • Does Bobby Cox need to hang it up? Is he senile? Why oh why does he make the decisions that he makes?
  • Why the hell is Blaine Boyer in the majors? Moreso, why the hell is he on my team?
  • How many games out of first place will we be come September 1?
  • How many games under .500 will we be come September 1?
I think I summed up my love for the Braves in my first blog post ever. But now I'm not really feelin' 'em. I'm tired of gettin' beat down night after night.

They need to light a fire under their asses. All of 'em! The one time (all season) that I've seen life on the field was on June 18 when the gorgeous & talented Mike Gonzalez came out with guns a'blazin' and got his first save in over a year. He was on FIRE! He was pumped! It was great...



But the rest of this team plays like shit. It's like they're all in a coma.

Oh, and I'm pretty convinced that June 18 was the last time the Braves won a game. (sarcasm)

So I think I'd have more fun gettin' my choch Brazilian waxed than watchin' these hos get swept by the Phillies. Sigh.

Shit, who'm'I kiddin'? I'll be watchin' tonight. It's that whole abusive boyfriend thing...I love him as much as I hate him.

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