For entertainment purposes only...my entertainment.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

2008 MLB All-Stars Announced

Let me start by saying that the entire Cubs 40-man roster is goin' to the All-Star game. Those a-holes and their fans totally stuffed the ballot boxes!

Oh, and the Red Sox, too. F*ckers.

(Starters in bold.)

AL
1B: Kevin Youkilis, BOS
2B: Dustin Pedroia, BOS
3B: A-Rod, NYY
SS: Derek Jeter, NYY (gag!)
OF: Josh Hamilton, TEX (1st selection) YAY!! Love him! Sober since Oct. 2005. Glory be to God!
OF: Manny Ramirez, BOS (gag! so sick of this bitch)
OF: Ichiro Suzuki, SEA
DH: David Ortiz, BOS (Milton Bradley will be takin' his spot)
C: Joe Mauer, MIN
P: Scott Kazmir, TB
P: George Sherrill, BAL (who?!?!)
P: Roy Halladay, TOR
P: Mariano Rivera, NYY
P: Jonathan Papelbon, BOS
P: Justin Duchscherer, OAK
P: Joe Nathan, MIN
P: Joakim Soria, KC
P: Cliff Lee, CLE
P: Francisco Rodriguez, LAA
P: Ervin Santana, LAA
P: Joe Saunders, LAA
Reserve: J. D. Drew, BOS
Reserve: Jason Varitek, BOS
Reserve: Joe Crede, CWS
Reserve: Carlos Quentin, CWS
Reserve: Grady Sizemore, CLE
Reserve: Carlos Guillen, DET
Reserve: Justin Morneau, MIN
Reserve: Milton Bradley, TEX
Reserve: Ian Kinsler, TEX
Reserve: Michael Young, TEX
Reserve: Dioner Navarro, TB

NL
1B: Lance Berkman, HOU
2B: Chase Utley, PHI
3B: Chipper Jones, ATL (YAY!)
SS: Hanley Ramirez, FLA
OF: Ryan Braun, MIL
OF: Alfonso Soriano, CHC (been out since June 7 after being hit in the hand by a Jeff Bennett pitch)
OF: Kosuke Fukudome, CHC (there's no way in hell this dude should start the All-Star game. Carols Lee or Corey Hart should get the nod before this wanker. That just goes back to the ballot-stuffin' in Chicago...)
C: Geovany Soto, CHC
P: Aaron Cook, COL
P: Tim Lincecum, SF
P: Dan Haren, ARI
P: Ben Sheets, MIL
P: Carlos Zambrano, CHC
P: Brandon Webb, ARI
P: Ryan Dempster, CHC
P: Brian Wilson, SF
P: Edinson Volquez, CIN
P: Kerry Wood, CHC
P: Brad Lidge, PHI
P: Billy Wagner, NYM
Reserve: Brian McCann, ATL
Reserve: Aramis Ramirez, CHC
Reserve: Matt Holliday, COL
Reserve: Dan Uggla, FLA
Reserve: Miguel Tejada, HOU
Reserve: Russell Martin, LAD
Reserve: Nate McLouth, PIT
Reserve: Albert Pujols, STL
Reserve: Ryan Ludwick, STL
Reserve: Adrian Gonzalez, SD
Reserve: Cristian Guzman, WAS

What the fuckity fuck is Brian McCann doin' a reserve!? And where the fuckity fuck is Jair Jurrjens?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!

How could Dan Heren be a selection while JJ's not even an honorable mention!? Not. Happy.

I'm sure we're all sick of hearin' it, but it bears repeating: What a story Josh Hamilton is!



I saw his interview with the TBS crew today and he really is an inspiration. Out of the game for over 3 years, druggie, shoulda been dead or in prison, etc., etc., etc. And here he is, makin' his first All-Star appearance. Two little girls and a third on the way...Beautiful.

Bittersweet stories like this one threaten to melt my cold, black heart. I'll be a Hammer fan for life.

And it's good to see Harold Reynolds on TV again, after this little mess a while back.

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