Holy Cow!!!!!!!

OMG! So much goin' on in the world -- Brit Brit included, of course! -- and my computer's taken a shit! DAYUM!!! Virus all to hell!!!






Won't be able to *really* blog until tomorrow night or so............I apologize to both of my fans for not being able to bring you my take on the world. By "both of my fans" I mean, MeMe & PaPa.


Hope to be back up & runnin' REAL soon!


Love ya, bitches! muah!


-T

I'm Not His Only Fan

See?! Even TMZ's got on the Novak bandwagon!


Yummy yummy yum!

My new lover picked up his first Grand Slam on Sunday by kickin' Jo-Wilfried Tsonga's ass in the finals of the Australian Open.

Hottie Wins Aussie Open

I was at the bar Friday night, boozin' it up, when I looked up & saw the Australian Open on ESPN. It was the semi-final match between Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic (above).

I'm a sports fan so naturally I'm familiar with Roger and his hotness. He's been around for a while. But my mouth fell open when I saw Djokovic. Dayum!! I'm a sucker for big ears and a big nose. Don't get me started.



Federer, the world's No. 1 seed, had seen 10 straight Grand Slam finals so I was shocked that he lost in straight sets (7-5, 6-3, 7-6 (5)) to the 20-year-old Serbian.

I haven't played "organized" tennis since I was in junior high. When I'm playin' now (for "fun") I can't remember how to keep score, and I bitch & moan the entire time about how I wanna beer & a smoke.

I really couldn't have cared less who won the match. Either one of these hot bitches woulda been nice to look at in the finals, but Djokovic was victorious.


(Federer, left; Djokovic, right)

Djokovic went on to defeat the unseeded Frenchman, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, for the Aussie Open title Sunday night, his first Grand Slam win.



Poor Roger. Oh well. He'll have plenty of time to sip cappuccinos and reflect on his huge loss in the AO.

Djokovic proved this weekend that he's the one to watch on the men's pro tennis scene. I'll be watchin'. And hopin'...that he takes his shorts off next time he wins big. If he does, we'll *all* win big! Mmmmmm

Let's Kiss Our Asses Goodbye

The Associated Press reports that a dead spy satellite could hit the planet in a few weeks.

We're all gonna die! Actually, with my luck, the damn thing'll land on my head as I'm returnin' from the mailbox after pickin' up my packages of Diamonique from QVC. Hey, say what ya will, but Diamonique's the shit! It's worth dyin' for...

The out-of-control satellite, which may contain hazardous materials, could land anywhere on the planet.

Please, please, please, please, please land on Britney's ass! And maybe Adnoid Ghaleeeeeeeeeeb will be in close proximity so the projectile will take him out, too! Yesssss!

But if it hits Brit, then 98% of the paparazzi population will also perish, and then where would I get my much-needed fix of Brit Brit pix?! Oh hell, it's a catch-22!

OK, satellite, don't take the superstar celebutard, take me! I'm not worthy!



Here's a clip from the other night when Adnoid was on Entertainment Tonight whorin' private voicemails from Miz Spears. He's such a winner.

I wish that Brazilian on his chin would jump up & bitch-slap his ass.

I Miss Me Some Jackie & Kathy

If any of y'all have info on when Work Out and My Life On the D List are comin' back to Bravo, please email me & let me know. I need some Jackie Warner!



I've been Tivo'ing Kathy Griffin's comedy specials to satisfy my desire to see more of that crazy redhead. I LOVE that bitch!

She Was Just Gettin' The Party Started, That's All

What's the big deal, ESPN?



Dana Jacobson is this hot bitch on ESPN radio who co-hosts a morning show called "ESPN First Take". Apparently she had a *tiny bit* too much to drink a coupla weeks ago at a roast for some coworkers.

She got a little, um, colorful with her speech and, as a result, has been disciplined by her employer.

The AP reports:

"Jacobson's speech included obscenities aimed at Notre Dame, with Irish football coach Charlie Weis in attendance.

An article in The Press of Atlantic City the next day said that Jacobson 'made an absolute fool of herself, swilling vodka from a Belvedere bottle, mumbling along and cursing like a sailor as Mike & Mike rested their heads in their hands in embarrassment.' She was booed off the stage."

That's HOT! She's my new hero, I love her. That's totally somethin' I'd do!

Shit, she's stuck behind a mic all day, on the radio, where no one can see her trick ass, or her big teefs! She was just enjoying bein' seen out in public, drinkin' like a fish on ESPN's dime, sheesh! Havin' a few drinky-drinks, chillin'. Big whoop.

She was suspended one week.

A Little Pre-Weekend Funny

Enough with all the depressing death this week! Let's all get our chuckle on with this.

You gotta listen to the noises this dude makes! He's never gonna live this shit down.



TGI(almost)F, bitches!

I'm Kind Of A Big Deal

Here she is...my new obsession!! It's Christian Siriano from Bravo's Project Runway 4!

Here's Christian's submission video to get his fierssssss little ass on the show. How could they have possibly turned this hot piece o' man meat down? They couldn't fight the hotness!


(click here if you're having trouble viewing the vid with MSE)

"I'm kind of fierssss. And I'm kind of a celebrity...in my own head."

I love love love Christian!! I hope he wins. I just wanna see what fantabulous things he has to say about himself if he does. I mean, what else could he possibly come up with?!

He's gonna hurt himself from all the back-pattin' & ass-kissin' he does to himself every day. He's gonna get tennis elbow. And tennis lips.

So, I just watched PR4's episode from last night (DVR is fierssssss) and I almost forgot what I was watchin' until, oh yea, it's RICKY CRYING!!! Dayum! Homegirl's bawlin' his face off in every. single. show!

There's no crying in fashion!

But here he is in action: fittin' his model in that "fiersssss" denim dress that scored him a win for the week. After he won.....................................he cried. Ugh!

Score One For the Blogger

A judge ruled Wednesday that Perez Hilton is entitled to upwards of $85,000 to pay legal costs in a lawsuit filed by D.J. Samantha Ronson.

"Samantha Ronson, who sued Hilton last year, was a passenger in (Lindsay) Lohan's car when it crashed into a tree in Beverly Hills in May. She sued Hilton for repeating on his website a report from another site stating that she planted cocaine that was found in Lohan's car," reports MSN.com.



Say whatcha want about Perez Hilton, but he's workin' on buildin' an empire for himself, and we're all contributing to it.

85 Gs?!?! That'll buy a lot o' Pinkberry & blue hair dye. Keep doin' yo thang, P-Nasty!

How's This For Irony!

CNN reports:

Crash kills 20 after air safety meeting

"Twenty members of the Polish Air Force returning from a flight-safety conference have been killed when a transport plane crashed in the northwest of the country.

The Spanish-built CASA transporter crashed near the town of Miroslawiec, a few hundred kilometers northwest of Warsaw, around 7 p.m. (1700 GMT).

The passengers had attended the 15th annual Flight Safety Conference, held in Warsaw on Wednesday. The plane took off from Warsaw and was making several stops before returning to its home base in Krakow."

I would never make light of a situation that involves folks perishing in a firey manner -- or any manner for that matter, really -- but ain't this some shit?!

These were AIR FLIGHT SAFETY PEOPLE!!!

See what can happen?! You bitches make fun of me 'cause I won't get my fat ass on a plane, but lookie here! Reason #128,596 that Momma don't fly!

"I get around as God intended....in a car." - Kate, French Kiss