Ya Just Can't Make This Up

Some crazy 15-year-old boy in Georgia was charged with four counts of sexual battery for biting or grabbing the buttocks of at least 10 women at the Lovejoy Wal-Mart, and more charges are expected.

"(Police Capt. Greg) Dickens said complaints of rear-end assaults at the store began in August and continued throughout May."

He was recognized & confronted by an ass-bitin' victim who saw him walkin' with relatives.

Could you *imagine*?!?!?!

"Uh, yea, I was tryin' me on some White Stag slacks o'vr'der in the big girl's section and yo' nephew her' jumped out 'da rack & bit my ass! Dayum!"

I'm pretty sure it was one'a these twats below. They look like the ample-butt-bitin' types. Shit, they'll give *anybody* a camera phone these days.




Although these pre-pubescent tools are questionable...I'm thinkin' they shoulda been in the men's Wrangler department. Pre-Brett Favre Wranglers, that is.

His ass is MINE!



I am offended! I have a big, juicy ass AND I was born in a Wal-Mart. I think somebody needs to change The Constitution or somethin'! My Rights have been violated in some way, shape or form....I'm just sure of it!

I'm gonna sue some teenage douche! SUE! SUE! I'M SUIN'!!!!