Sorry y'all! I'm on vacation until January 4, hangin' out with the fam, drinkin', playin' cards, shoppin' & eatin' too much. My kind of vacation!
There seems to be LOTS goin' on in Hollyweird and the Sports World these days so I'm hopin' I get to put my spin on it pretty soon. You *know* I always got shit to say!
Tailor Made & Tranny New York are engaged but he's (allegedly) cheatin' on her ass already, who's Jamie Lynn's baby daddy?, Fuggy Fug is gettin' married to that hot piece of man meat Josh Duhamel, Jennifer Aniston's (allegedly) knocked up, the Padres are gettin' screwed in the ass by payin' Mark Prior $1Millz for a year, Paris Hilton's gramps gave away all her inheritance, Jay-Z quit Def Jam, Mischa got arrested...it just goes on & on.
More to come from the Kween at a later date.
Hope Santy was good to ya & have a safe New Years Eve! Stay outta jail!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Brit To Hit The Big Screen...Again?
UGH! For the love of everything holy, say it ain't so!
PageSix reports that Miz Spears is in talks to star in Memoirs of a Medicated Child. She's a perfect fit!
Click here to read the rest of this dastardly story.
And below you'll see our girl BS on last night's Rite Aid shopping spree I told you about earlier today. The only reason I'm posting this pic is because I noticed what she's holding in her delicate, feminine, well-manicured hand....At first I thought it was a can of FDS, but upon further inspection (and knowin' her skank self) it's a can of that cheap ass knock-off body spray.
You tellin' me she can't afford the good stuff?! And by "good stuff" I mean the stuff you hafta have the clerk come over to the cosmetics section & unlock the sliding glass door to retrieve.
It may not *be* FDS, but she should use it like it is cuz you know her stuff ain't right.
PageSix reports that Miz Spears is in talks to star in Memoirs of a Medicated Child. She's a perfect fit!
Click here to read the rest of this dastardly story.
And below you'll see our girl BS on last night's Rite Aid shopping spree I told you about earlier today. The only reason I'm posting this pic is because I noticed what she's holding in her delicate, feminine, well-manicured hand....At first I thought it was a can of FDS, but upon further inspection (and knowin' her skank self) it's a can of that cheap ass knock-off body spray.
You tellin' me she can't afford the good stuff?! And by "good stuff" I mean the stuff you hafta have the clerk come over to the cosmetics section & unlock the sliding glass door to retrieve.
It may not *be* FDS, but she should use it like it is cuz you know her stuff ain't right.
Baseball In Steroids
I love baseball. That's it. Pure and simple.
It breaks my heart to hear the things currently being said & done in the greatest sport ever.
Things such as this, and this, and this. It's everywhere!
I've been pretty mum on this subject so far. Not because I don't have anything of substance to say about steroids in baseball (although it's true that I probably don't.....you decide), but because it makes me sick.
(Image: ESPN.com)
Was I surprised that Jose Canseco wrote a book calling out former teammates on their steroid use? No. The actions of lonely, bitter people rarely shock me.
Was I surprised when Barry Bonds became the center of 'roid-use speculation because he gained 5 million pounds of muscle over the course of a few years? No. But I figured "hey, dude's gettin' old, he's probably just hittin' the gym to stay in shape to be competitive." So I'm naive. Don't judge.
I guess what finally shocked me was seeing the players' names in the Mitchell report, released Dec. 13. I grew up watching these guys. I know their histories.
I've never "idolized" any baseball player for his strengths on the field. In fact, I've never really even had a favorite player. Unless you count the little-girl crush I had on Gregg Jefferies when I was in the 8th grade, but I don't count that shit. (Sidebar: I remember that year for Christmas, I got every single Jefferies collectible under the sun (autographed player cards, pictures, posters, figurines, t-shirts, you name it!) Hey, what can I say, I was convinced that I was gonna marry the dude one day. I digress.)
Let's just say that I never considered MLB players to be role models, but that's probably because I'm a female. I suppose if I was a 10-year-boy who was a Yankees fan, I may dream of growing up to be Derek Jeter. I guess I just never put too much stock in the players themselves.
Ya see, I just love the game.
It's sad that this large group of men -- and I'm sure there are many, many more than just those listed in the Mitchell report -- have collectively ruined the NAME of the game I love so much. I say they ruined the "NAME" of the game, because to me, they didn't ruin the game itself.
No one will ever ruin the game of baseball for me.
The Braves could run the cast of Cocoon out on the field 162 games in a row and I wouldn't care one damn bit. It's the game that I love, not thecheaters players.
So until I see Wilford Brimley behind the plate and Jessica Tandy at short, I say Selig should institute a baseball law that every single player on every single team be tested monthly for banned substances. If you can't handle that, players, then get the fuck off my field!
Problem solved.
(steps off soapbox)
It breaks my heart to hear the things currently being said & done in the greatest sport ever.
Things such as this, and this, and this. It's everywhere!
I've been pretty mum on this subject so far. Not because I don't have anything of substance to say about steroids in baseball (although it's true that I probably don't.....you decide), but because it makes me sick.
(Image: ESPN.com)
Was I surprised that Jose Canseco wrote a book calling out former teammates on their steroid use? No. The actions of lonely, bitter people rarely shock me.
Was I surprised when Barry Bonds became the center of 'roid-use speculation because he gained 5 million pounds of muscle over the course of a few years? No. But I figured "hey, dude's gettin' old, he's probably just hittin' the gym to stay in shape to be competitive." So I'm naive. Don't judge.
I guess what finally shocked me was seeing the players' names in the Mitchell report, released Dec. 13. I grew up watching these guys. I know their histories.
I've never "idolized" any baseball player for his strengths on the field. In fact, I've never really even had a favorite player. Unless you count the little-girl crush I had on Gregg Jefferies when I was in the 8th grade, but I don't count that shit. (Sidebar: I remember that year for Christmas, I got every single Jefferies collectible under the sun (autographed player cards, pictures, posters, figurines, t-shirts, you name it!) Hey, what can I say, I was convinced that I was gonna marry the dude one day. I digress.)
Let's just say that I never considered MLB players to be role models, but that's probably because I'm a female. I suppose if I was a 10-year-boy who was a Yankees fan, I may dream of growing up to be Derek Jeter. I guess I just never put too much stock in the players themselves.
Ya see, I just love the game.
- I love sitting in the stands with 35,000 people who enjoy the game as much as I do.
- I love the (overpriced) beer and hot dogs.
- I love the delayed sound of the crack of the bat as I'm sitting 400 feet away in the right-center field bleachers.
- I love the cheesy little promotions a team puts on between innings to keep attending fans interested.
- I love batting practice.
- I love rain delays.
- I love TBS for allowing me to watch my beloved Atlanta Braves on TV year after year for too many to remember. (Thanks Skip & Pete!)
- I love the sound of the vendors selling their wares.
- I love a well-executed hit-&-run.
- I love the look on my son's face as he cheers after a spectacular play made by an outfielder.
- I love successful pick-off plays.
- I love to sway back & forth with the crowd as we all join in for "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" during the 7th inning stretch.
- I love the wave.
- I love beach balls being batted around the stands on a hot summer day.
- I love no hitters.
- And of course, I love home runs.
It's sad that this large group of men -- and I'm sure there are many, many more than just those listed in the Mitchell report -- have collectively ruined the NAME of the game I love so much. I say they ruined the "NAME" of the game, because to me, they didn't ruin the game itself.
No one will ever ruin the game of baseball for me.
The Braves could run the cast of Cocoon out on the field 162 games in a row and I wouldn't care one damn bit. It's the game that I love, not the
So until I see Wilford Brimley behind the plate and Jessica Tandy at short, I say Selig should institute a baseball law that every single player on every single team be tested monthly for banned substances. If you can't handle that, players, then get the fuck off my field!
Problem solved.
(steps off soapbox)
She's At It Again!!!!!!
OMG! This story has it all: a spare tire, handicapped parking, Rite Aid, crazed fans, a stuffed horse!
TMZ's paps caught Brit Brit drivin' down Sunset Blvd. last night with her trunk open on the way to her home away from home, Rite Aid.
Upon arriving at the drug store, craziness ensued (but when *doesn't* craziness ensue where this ho is concerned?):
Does this bitch ever sleep?! I think she's secretly a vampire.
TMZ's paps caught Brit Brit drivin' down Sunset Blvd. last night with her trunk open on the way to her home away from home, Rite Aid.
Upon arriving at the drug store, craziness ensued (but when *doesn't* craziness ensue where this ho is concerned?):
Does this bitch ever sleep?! I think she's secretly a vampire.
Phil Spector Runs Off At The Mouth
Good God Almighty. Somebody shoulda slapped this ho up before he had a chance to get started!
Fox News reports that Phil Spector, the felonious, murdering music producer, attended Ike Turner's funeral in LA on Friday and gave a little speechy speech. He had a few things to say about a lot of big-named folks, two of which were Miz Tina Turner and Oprah!
Oh snap!
Spector on Tina: "Ike made Tina the jewel she was. When I went to see Ike play at the Cinegrill in the '90s after his absurd reason for being sent to prison for no reason other than being a black man in America, there were at least, and I counted them, five Tina Turners on the stage performing that night, any one of them could have been Tina Turner."
Spector on Oprah: "And sell-out, whom you really love and respect but I have an ambivalence towards Oprah Winfrey. She made Tina Turner's book into a bestseller, which demonized and vilified Ike. The book wouldn't have sold 10 books. It was badly written. It was a piece of trash and because Oprah idolized Tina, she didn't feel it wrong to vilify a 'brother.'"
What the fuck does grandma know about bein' a black man in America?? I suppose he thinks O.J. went to prison for just bein' a black man in America, and not for allegedly (...yea right) stabbin' some folks to death?!
Spector also talked some shit about Eric Clapton: "Ike could play circles around Eric Clapton and Eric knew it. I had someone once ask me what's the difference between Ike Turner and Eric Clapton. I said, 'you don't know the difference between Eric Clapton and Ike Turner? That's funny, why don't you ask Eric, Eric knows.'"
Somebody shoulda unplugged homegirl's microphone! Why couldn't he have just gotten up there and given the typical funeral spiel "I'm sure gonna miss him, he was a great friend, he taught me everything I know about battery against women, blah, blah, blah..."
I guess he figures his career's over, everyone hates him, he's awaiting trial #2 (slated to start up September 2008), he looks like a shit shake......why not try to take everyone down with ya?!
What a crackhead!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Callin' All You Romo Haters!
Ruin Romo hit the internets yesterday with a deliciously funny idea for Tony Romo anti-fans.
Download & cut out the Jessica Simpson face from the website and wear it to Saturday's Panthers/Cowboys game.
See, the idea is that if Romo thinks this twat is in the stands, he'll fuck up royally, like he did last week and BINGO -- Panthers win!
I don't know how smart this pinhead is so it might actually *work*! Well, he IS pokin' Chesticles Simpson, so perhaps he's a bit lackin' in the brain department...
I can't wait to see how many drunken douches actually show up to the game wearin' this stupid shit!
Download & cut out the Jessica Simpson face from the website and wear it to Saturday's Panthers/Cowboys game.
See, the idea is that if Romo thinks this twat is in the stands, he'll fuck up royally, like he did last week and BINGO -- Panthers win!
I don't know how smart this pinhead is so it might actually *work*! Well, he IS pokin' Chesticles Simpson, so perhaps he's a bit lackin' in the brain department...
I can't wait to see how many drunken douches actually show up to the game wearin' this stupid shit!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Oh No He Di'n't!
This shit writes itself, people.
I couldn't make this up if I'd tried. Nor would I have wanted to be the journalist on this beat.
Surgeon in Hot Water After Photographing Patient's Tattooed Genitals
PHOENIX — A surgeon faces a disciplinary hearing for snapping a photo of a patient's tattooed genitals during an operation and showing it around to other doctors.
Mayo Clinic Hospital administrators said Dr. Adam Hansen, chief resident of general surgery, admitted taking the photo with his cell phone on Dec. 11. The tattoo on strip club owner Sean Dubowik's penis reads: "Hot Rod."
Hansen wasn't available for comment Tuesday and has been placed on administrative leave. He could face a range of punishment from probation to dismissal.
"Patient privacy is a serious matter, and photographing someone in this manner without a good reason is something we will investigate down to the last detail," said Dr. Joseph Sirven, education director for Mayo Clinic Arizona, the hospital's parent organization based in Scottsdale.
Dubowik said he got the tattoo on a bet and that "it was the most horrible thing I ever went though in my life."
He said he planned to contact an attorney.
"The longer I sit here the angrier I get," he said.
I wannna see some photos dammit!! How could you not run pictures with a story as incredible as this one?! Shitty journalism...
I couldn't make this up if I'd tried. Nor would I have wanted to be the journalist on this beat.
Surgeon in Hot Water After Photographing Patient's Tattooed Genitals
PHOENIX — A surgeon faces a disciplinary hearing for snapping a photo of a patient's tattooed genitals during an operation and showing it around to other doctors.
Mayo Clinic Hospital administrators said Dr. Adam Hansen, chief resident of general surgery, admitted taking the photo with his cell phone on Dec. 11. The tattoo on strip club owner Sean Dubowik's penis reads: "Hot Rod."
Hansen wasn't available for comment Tuesday and has been placed on administrative leave. He could face a range of punishment from probation to dismissal.
"Patient privacy is a serious matter, and photographing someone in this manner without a good reason is something we will investigate down to the last detail," said Dr. Joseph Sirven, education director for Mayo Clinic Arizona, the hospital's parent organization based in Scottsdale.
Dubowik said he got the tattoo on a bet and that "it was the most horrible thing I ever went though in my life."
He said he planned to contact an attorney.
"The longer I sit here the angrier I get," he said.
I wannna see some photos dammit!! How could you not run pictures with a story as incredible as this one?! Shitty journalism...
Whaaaaaa????
Allow me to take a quick break from all the teenage pregnancies (Jamie Lynn), shitty music video releases (Brit Brit, Assley Simpson, et al) and nose jobs gone wrong (I'm watchin' you, Ashley Tisdale).
I'm devoting this little piece o' Heaven to America's Got Talent. I don't watch that mess but I was just sent this video clip of some hot piece magician who cut some Isaiah Washington wanna-be in half on stage with a chainsaw.
Umm, yea, that about sums it up.
This is the baddest shit I've ever seen!! Move over David Copperfield. Criss Angel who? I don't *think* so, David Blaine!
AMAZING!!!
I'm devoting this little piece o' Heaven to America's Got Talent. I don't watch that mess but I was just sent this video clip of some hot piece magician who cut some Isaiah Washington wanna-be in half on stage with a chainsaw.
Umm, yea, that about sums it up.
This is the baddest shit I've ever seen!! Move over David Copperfield. Criss Angel who? I don't *think* so, David Blaine!
AMAZING!!!
How To Lose 50 Gs In 3 Seconds
We all watched as the "Survivor" 3rd runner-up Denise told us that she was demoted to scrubbin' terrlits upon her return to work after the show taped.
She tugged at Mark Burnett's heartstrings (and purse strings) with her sad, sad tale of wages lost. He felt bad for the mullet-headed broad so he gave her $50,000 to help ease her pain.
Well now the troof comes out! The superintendent of the school district for which Denise works now tells us that Achy Breaky Heart *requested* (and was granted) a promotion to terrlit cleaner prior to flyin' off for her Chinese adventure.
Instead of keepin' the money, Billy Ray is donatin' it to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.
I love to hear about some big dollas bein' donated to good causes, but shit woman!! You were *this* close to FIFTY. THOUSAND. DOLLARS! You know how many bang-trims that money could buy?! Or how many heathered gray crewneck t-shirts you could get with that shit?!
You had me at "Don't tell my heart" but you're just a dumbass, Billy Ray.
I woulda loved to have seen you win a million bucks, and I was thrilled that you got the 50 thou, but what you did is just inconceivable.
Let this be a lesson to all y'all: "The truth doesn't pay."
Wait a minute, that's not right....
"The truth doesn't lie."
That's not it either.
Oh hell, just tell the truth and you might not fuck yerself out of a lot o' money. There.
She tugged at Mark Burnett's heartstrings (and purse strings) with her sad, sad tale of wages lost. He felt bad for the mullet-headed broad so he gave her $50,000 to help ease her pain.
Well now the troof comes out! The superintendent of the school district for which Denise works now tells us that Achy Breaky Heart *requested* (and was granted) a promotion to terrlit cleaner prior to flyin' off for her Chinese adventure.
Instead of keepin' the money, Billy Ray is donatin' it to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.
I love to hear about some big dollas bein' donated to good causes, but shit woman!! You were *this* close to FIFTY. THOUSAND. DOLLARS! You know how many bang-trims that money could buy?! Or how many heathered gray crewneck t-shirts you could get with that shit?!
You had me at "Don't tell my heart" but you're just a dumbass, Billy Ray.
I woulda loved to have seen you win a million bucks, and I was thrilled that you got the 50 thou, but what you did is just inconceivable.
Let this be a lesson to all y'all: "The truth doesn't pay."
Wait a minute, that's not right....
"The truth doesn't lie."
That's not it either.
Oh hell, just tell the truth and you might not fuck yerself out of a lot o' money. There.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
T.O. Hates Jessica Simpson
Terrell Owens thinks Jessica Simpson is the devil incarnate.
On Wednesday, T.O. told the slut to step the fuck off his boy, Tony Romo! (That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!)
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite — in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said. "With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away. Other than that, she was high on my list until last week."
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
Romo had the worst game of his career last Sunday and the sports world is blamin' his shitty performance on the fact that the Major Movie Star was in attendance. TV cameras repeatedly showed Chesticles in the luxury suite with that creepy whore monger, "manager" Joe Simpson, cheerin' & jeerin' during the game.
I blame Joe, not Jessica. It's always Joe's fault. Everything is Joe's fault.
She prolly looked down at the front of her shirt a few times and said "Daddy, I'm confused. This jersey is #6 and Tony's jersey is #9. I don't get it. Oh well. What inning is this again?"
On Wednesday, T.O. told the slut to step the fuck off his boy, Tony Romo! (That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!)
"Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favorite — in this locker room or in Texas Stadium," Owens said. "With everything that has happened, obviously with the way Tony played and the comparison between her and Carrie Underwood, I think a lot of people feel she has taken his focus away. Other than that, she was high on my list until last week."
"Oh, I got a message for her when we make the playoffs. Just stay tuned."
Romo had the worst game of his career last Sunday and the sports world is blamin' his shitty performance on the fact that the Major Movie Star was in attendance. TV cameras repeatedly showed Chesticles in the luxury suite with that creepy whore monger, "manager" Joe Simpson, cheerin' & jeerin' during the game.
I blame Joe, not Jessica. It's always Joe's fault. Everything is Joe's fault.
She prolly looked down at the front of her shirt a few times and said "Daddy, I'm confused. This jersey is #6 and Tony's jersey is #9. I don't get it. Oh well. What inning is this again?"
Monday, December 17, 2007
Introducing Mr. New York
My Favorite Tranny, New York (aka Tiffany Pollard), chose her, um, man tonight on the season finale: Tailor Made
Hot Piece, Mr. Tiffany Pollard
He proposed to her in the finale and she turned him down. She said maybe 24 months from now she'd consider bein' hishusband wife. (He needs to divorce his original wifey first. This ain't Utah y'all.)
Although I'm pretty sure her dick is bigger than his, I'm happy for 'em. I didn't much care for Buddah.
I was rootin' for Midget Mac to go all the way. He knows that Midge-It-Su. Hi-YA!
Look at that mess. Looks like Baskin Robbins exploded all over his ass. Dayum!
Lucky for us, we didn't have to see much of Calibos in the finale. That hooker's uglier than a baboon's ass. And I know my way around a baboon's ass.
Hot Piece, Mr. Tiffany Pollard
He proposed to her in the finale and she turned him down. She said maybe 24 months from now she'd consider bein' his
Although I'm pretty sure her dick is bigger than his, I'm happy for 'em. I didn't much care for Buddah.
I was rootin' for Midget Mac to go all the way. He knows that Midge-It-Su. Hi-YA!
Look at that mess. Looks like Baskin Robbins exploded all over his ass. Dayum!
Lucky for us, we didn't have to see much of Calibos in the finale. That hooker's uglier than a baboon's ass. And I know my way around a baboon's ass.
Wacko Jacko Reads?!
Yet *another* use for Post-It notes! Golly, I never woulda thought to use 'em to hold my face together! Thanks, 3M!
What a goodmommy daddy.
Those poor chirrens.
That, people, is pure, unadulterated beauty.
Michael Jackson was spotted with his kids Prince, Paris & Blanket at an Iraqi Barnes & Noble lookin' like a......like a......hmmm. Anyway, here he is.What a good
Those poor chirrens.
Crazy Days In Hollyweird
On Friday, Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from husband-of-70-days, Rick Salomon. I don't think anyone was really surprised. This crazy bitch changes husbands like I change drawwws.
Now it seems as though she's had a change of heart, as she & Ricky are "working things out...", which for her loosely translates to "goin' on a 10-day bender."
Best of luck, kiddies!
Now it seems as though she's had a change of heart, as she & Ricky are "working things out...", which for her loosely translates to "goin' on a 10-day bender."
Best of luck, kiddies!
Courtney Is A Bitch!
Straight up!
The Gwen Stefani Wanna-Be told America that it's mostly children that recognize her at her job (of being a dumb whore) since the newest season of Survivor has aired.
Host Jeff Probst then asked the resident Survivor Ano if she likes kids and she said "No, I actually hate kids," and then cracks up like she just told the funniest joke.
I hope this angular twat gets knocked up with triplets. She's deserving.
Oh, and by the way, Court, yer gettin' FAT! Gasp! Time to scarf & barf!
And here's Million-Dollar Todd at the finale. Such a pretty little girl:
The Gwen Stefani Wanna-Be told America that it's mostly children that recognize her at her job (of being a dumb whore) since the newest season of Survivor has aired.
Host Jeff Probst then asked the resident Survivor Ano if she likes kids and she said "No, I actually hate kids," and then cracks up like she just told the funniest joke.
I hope this angular twat gets knocked up with triplets. She's deserving.
Oh, and by the way, Court, yer gettin' FAT! Gasp! Time to scarf & barf!
And here's Million-Dollar Todd at the finale. Such a pretty little girl:
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Ordinary Stars
TMZ posted a gallery of photos that shows a bunch of celebutards Photoshopped to look like ordinary folks, although to TMZ, it seems that "ordinary" = chub-ville. I don't agree with that, but TMZ didn't consult me first. Go figure.
Some of these are freakin' hilarious, i.e. Karaoke Angie and Nicole's baby.
Enjoy!
Some of these are freakin' hilarious, i.e. Karaoke Angie and Nicole's baby.
Enjoy!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Is There Anything This Man Can't Do?
I'm not a fan of Tiger Woods, but I do enjoy The Onion. I secretly wish I was smart & witty enough to work at The Onion.
Maybe someday. Maybe someday.
Read the story about this Superman.
What The...?
Say what you will about Criss Angel. But you can't deny dude's got MAD skillz!
Watch what he does to this Michael Godard painting.
Oh, and there's a midget at the very end. Excellent!
Watch what he does to this Michael Godard painting.
Oh, and there's a midget at the very end. Excellent!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Tonight: Best Year Ever!
Tonight's the premier of the 2007 edition of VH1's Best Year Ever! Be there or be square, bitches!
I can't wait to see what they have to say about Brit Brit and all the celebubitch jail-birds of '07!
I can't wait to see what they have to say about Brit Brit and all the celebubitch jail-birds of '07!
B-Nasty
Believe it or not, this is Britney drivin' around late last night, cell in hand, of course.
What the hell was she doin' before she jumped behind the wheel? Clawin' her way out of a shallow grave?!?! Those nails are NAST!
Bitch needs to save the $$$ she spends on Starbucks & Marlboros and buy herself a manicure. For realz!
Pusses All Aglow
Holy shit.
Scientists at the Gyeongsang National University have found a way to alter kitty genes to make them glow in the dark. Here's what they claim, according to msnbc:
"They took skin cells from Turkish Angora female cats and used a virus to insert the genetic instructions for making red fluorescent protein. Then they put the gene-altered nuclei into eggs for cloning. The cloned embryos were implanted back into the donor cats, which effectively became the surrogate mothers for their own clones.
Four kittens were born by Caesarian section, but one of them died during the procedure, according to the Korea Times. The fact that the kittens' skin cells glowed under ultraviolet light served as evidence that they were really gene-altered clones."
Dayum, that's a lot of smart stuff.
This could come in handy for so many reasons. Like when my fat-ass, fluffy-ass cat comes sneakin' in the bedroom all stealthy-like and pounces on my head when I'm tryin' to fall asleep. I'd be able to see that bitch comin' and foil his plot to scare the shit outta me. I would finally be victorious! Muahahahahaha!
Those South Koreans are shifty.
But this can't be good for survival at nighttime......
Scientists at the Gyeongsang National University have found a way to alter kitty genes to make them glow in the dark. Here's what they claim, according to msnbc:
"They took skin cells from Turkish Angora female cats and used a virus to insert the genetic instructions for making red fluorescent protein. Then they put the gene-altered nuclei into eggs for cloning. The cloned embryos were implanted back into the donor cats, which effectively became the surrogate mothers for their own clones.
Four kittens were born by Caesarian section, but one of them died during the procedure, according to the Korea Times. The fact that the kittens' skin cells glowed under ultraviolet light served as evidence that they were really gene-altered clones."
Dayum, that's a lot of smart stuff.
This could come in handy for so many reasons. Like when my fat-ass, fluffy-ass cat comes sneakin' in the bedroom all stealthy-like and pounces on my head when I'm tryin' to fall asleep. I'd be able to see that bitch comin' and foil his plot to scare the shit outta me. I would finally be victorious! Muahahahahaha!
Those South Koreans are shifty.
But this can't be good for survival at nighttime......
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Go On, Tina Girl!
Ike Turner's widow, Jeanette, is asking Tina Turner to forgive her dead-ass husband for all his wife beatin' & cokeheadedness back in the day.
Why the hell should she?! Miz Tina don't owe him shit. She's prolly plannin' to go do the Proud Mary "Big Wheel" dance on his grave when ain't nobody watchin'. I would.
Ike passed away Wednesday, December 12 at the age of 76.
Yahoo! Music reports this:
Ike Turner’s widow Jeanette Turner has asked Tina Turner to forgive him.
Turner passed away earlier this week (December 12) in San Diego.
Tina Turner’s official statement read: "Tina hasn’t had any contact with Ike for more than 35 years. No further comment will be made."
However Jeanette Turner said: " I know that she was hurt. But there’s something called forgiveness and I know Ike really forgave himself, which is really hard to do."
She added: "I’m not defending what he did. I’m not saying he didn’t do what he did when he was with Tina or me. But he was a human being. And being all of that, he’s still a childlike person--pure and a good person always willing to help people."
She told EURweb: "He was a human being and he helped Tina...he helped a lot of people."
Uh huh.
Sayonara, ya drug-addicted wife-beater.
Oh! And if you kinda squint & turn your head to the side, don't Ike look like Real from I Love New York?!?! haha!
Why the hell should she?! Miz Tina don't owe him shit. She's prolly plannin' to go do the Proud Mary "Big Wheel" dance on his grave when ain't nobody watchin'. I would.
Ike passed away Wednesday, December 12 at the age of 76.
Yahoo! Music reports this:
Ike Turner’s widow Jeanette Turner has asked Tina Turner to forgive him.
Turner passed away earlier this week (December 12) in San Diego.
Tina Turner’s official statement read: "Tina hasn’t had any contact with Ike for more than 35 years. No further comment will be made."
However Jeanette Turner said: " I know that she was hurt. But there’s something called forgiveness and I know Ike really forgave himself, which is really hard to do."
She added: "I’m not defending what he did. I’m not saying he didn’t do what he did when he was with Tina or me. But he was a human being. And being all of that, he’s still a childlike person--pure and a good person always willing to help people."
She told EURweb: "He was a human being and he helped Tina...he helped a lot of people."
Uh huh.
Sayonara, ya drug-addicted wife-beater.
Oh! And if you kinda squint & turn your head to the side, don't Ike look like Real from I Love New York?!?! haha!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Ah, The Pie Maker
Can I just say that I love this man? Seriously. I love him.
I'm in love with Ned The Pie Maker.
I don't care if he looks like a Nicholas Cage/Kevin Spacey love child. Homegirl is pure ADORABLENESS!
If you don't know, my newest obsession is Pushing Daisies. The cast is great: Kristin Chenoweth (Olive Snook), Anna Friel (Chuck, aka "Dead Girl"), Lee Pace (Ned, "The Pie Maker"), Chi McBride (Emerson Cod, the Investigator) and even Digby.
The sets are bright & colorful, the costumes and fashions are fabulously retro, the chemistry between the characters is fantastic, and the dialogue is super fast-paced. Seriously fast-paced. Like, seriously. Don't try to drink beer and watch this show at the same time cuz you'll miss half of what the hell's goin' on. I know this from experience.
Anyhoo, if you haven't seen Pushing Daisies, you must! You can watch a few back episodes online at ABC.
Anyhoo, if you haven't seen Pushing Daisies, you must! You can watch a few back episodes online at ABC.
I don't know how long this freakin' writers' strike is gonna last, so you may get lucky enough to see a mound o' re-runs of this show on air very soon. Lucky us!
SausageGate
I'm just in the mood to revisit this little morsel of goodness.
It's SausageGate 2003 (dayum, I can't believe it's been that long ago!)
If ya don't know anything about National League baseball, between the 6th & 7th innings of all home games, the Milwaukee Brewers feature the Sausage Races. And before you ask, no, none of Pamela Anderson's husbands - past or present - are participants.
It's basically a bunch of grown ass people dressed in meat-type costumes racin' around the warning track in the outfield. There's a hot dog, Italian sausage, Polish sausage & bratwurst.
On July 9, 2003, the Italian sausage was the victim of assault at the capable hands of Pirates first baseman Randall Simon. It sounds rough, but honestly, it's the funniest shit ever!
If you saw the video (below) you'd know that it was only a matter of time. There had to be millionz of players who hung over the top of the dugout fence just *waitin'* for the chance to take a swipe at a sausage's ass with a Louisville Slugger. I know I'd be itchin' for a shot.
Read the story for quite the knee-slapper.
I'm surprised it's still available from Page 2 (sarcasm)............
Sidebar: These days I'm hatin' ESPN and here's why: every time I click on a link to a headline on its website, I'm taken to an Insider story. ESPN The Insider is not a free service (and from what I hear from paying customers, it SUCKS and it's not worth the money. And ESPN the Magazine sucks, too. I know that from personal experience). Anyhoo, ESPN already has a monopoly on the sports world (see story on Darren McFadden losing the Heisman Trophy last weekend, brought to you by A-Hun) so why add another shitty story site for which visitors must pay? Fuck off & die, ESPN.
Admittedly, this story's a helluva lot funnier than the video, although the vid's hilarious in a serious, ironic way. These bitches need to get laid! Take it easy, newspeople. It ain't like Randall kilt anybody! He was just engagin' in some harmless meat beatin'.
It's SausageGate 2003 (dayum, I can't believe it's been that long ago!)
If ya don't know anything about National League baseball, between the 6th & 7th innings of all home games, the Milwaukee Brewers feature the Sausage Races. And before you ask, no, none of Pamela Anderson's husbands - past or present - are participants.
It's basically a bunch of grown ass people dressed in meat-type costumes racin' around the warning track in the outfield. There's a hot dog, Italian sausage, Polish sausage & bratwurst.
On July 9, 2003, the Italian sausage was the victim of assault at the capable hands of Pirates first baseman Randall Simon. It sounds rough, but honestly, it's the funniest shit ever!
If you saw the video (below) you'd know that it was only a matter of time. There had to be millionz of players who hung over the top of the dugout fence just *waitin'* for the chance to take a swipe at a sausage's ass with a Louisville Slugger. I know I'd be itchin' for a shot.
Read the story for quite the knee-slapper.
I'm surprised it's still available from Page 2 (sarcasm)............
Sidebar: These days I'm hatin' ESPN and here's why: every time I click on a link to a headline on its website, I'm taken to an Insider story. ESPN The Insider is not a free service (and from what I hear from paying customers, it SUCKS and it's not worth the money. And ESPN the Magazine sucks, too. I know that from personal experience). Anyhoo, ESPN already has a monopoly on the sports world (see story on Darren McFadden losing the Heisman Trophy last weekend, brought to you by A-Hun) so why add another shitty story site for which visitors must pay? Fuck off & die, ESPN.
Admittedly, this story's a helluva lot funnier than the video, although the vid's hilarious in a serious, ironic way. These bitches need to get laid! Take it easy, newspeople. It ain't like Randall kilt anybody! He was just engagin' in some harmless meat beatin'.
Monday, December 10, 2007
For Momma
This is posted especially for my Momma.
Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:
This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you!
Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day:
Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.
As does your search for chest hair.
And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. F*ck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."
Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:
Man, that's sexy.
Here's the deal: I'd barely been popped outta my Momma's uterusus when this catalog went to print, so naturally, I don't remember these zexy fashions.
That being said, perhaps my Daddy was wearin' somethin' along this vein (gag) when I was conceived, cuz, let's face it -- these hos are HAWT!
(Before y'all start emailin' me with your accusations, no, I didn't write this. Der. It's called plagiarism, bitches.)
Here, Momma. Get silly, you old broad:
Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. While my wife's brother and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:
A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:
Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:
There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.
The clothes are fantastic.
Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:
Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.
Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:
This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.
Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:
This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you!
Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:
If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.
Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:
He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.
How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:
If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.
How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day:
Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.
As does your search for chest hair.
And this -- Seriously. No words.
Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. F*ck. I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?
And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."
Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:
I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:
Man, that's sexy.
Ain't This About the Truth
OK, so I have a husband. I'm a wife. We're equals & shit, right? I'd like to think so. Yet if my husband played me a song similar to this aimed at women (perhaps called the Woman Song...), would I be pissed?
Does hell go with no?!
This is pure awesomeness!
Yes, I'm sure it's been out for like, years, but I'm a bit slow on the internets and have better things to do with my time than comb the millionz of videos on youtube to find something about which to blog.
Oh, who'm I kiddin'...I ain't got shit to do. I just got this in an email today and cackled my fat ass off.
Enjoy!
The Man Song:
Does hell go with no?!
This is pure awesomeness!
Yes, I'm sure it's been out for like, years, but I'm a bit slow on the internets and have better things to do with my time than comb the millionz of videos on youtube to find something about which to blog.
Oh, who'm I kiddin'...I ain't got shit to do. I just got this in an email today and cackled my fat ass off.
Enjoy!
The Man Song:
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Busted!
ESPN reported today that Jose Guillen and Jay Gibbons will be suspended for the first 15 games of the '08 season for usin' steroids.
When will these wankers learn? Cheaters never win.
Gibbons was prolly misinformed when someone told him that the juice would help fix that shiteous ear issue he has goin' on.
When will these wankers learn? Cheaters never win.
Gibbons was prolly misinformed when someone told him that the juice would help fix that shiteous ear issue he has goin' on.
