How To Lose 50 Gs In 3 Seconds

We all watched as the "Survivor" 3rd runner-up Denise told us that she was demoted to scrubbin' terrlits upon her return to work after the show taped.

She tugged at Mark Burnett's heartstrings (and purse strings) with her sad, sad tale of wages lost. He felt bad for the mullet-headed broad so he gave her $50,000 to help ease her pain.

Well now the troof comes out! The superintendent of the school district for which Denise works now tells us that Achy Breaky Heart *requested* (and was granted) a promotion to terrlit cleaner prior to flyin' off for her Chinese adventure.

Instead of keepin' the money, Billy Ray is donatin' it to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation.

I love to hear about some big dollas bein' donated to good causes, but shit woman!! You were *this* close to FIFTY. THOUSAND. DOLLARS! You know how many bang-trims that money could buy?! Or how many heathered gray crewneck t-shirts you could get with that shit?!



You had me at "Don't tell my heart" but you're just a dumbass, Billy Ray.

I woulda loved to have seen you win a million bucks, and I was thrilled that you got the 50 thou, but what you did is just inconceivable.

Let this be a lesson to all y'all: "The truth doesn't pay."

Wait a minute, that's not right....

"The truth doesn't lie."

That's not it either.

Oh hell, just tell the truth and you might not fuck yerself out of a lot o' money. There.