Not Again...

Someone with a mouth as big as mine, and with as many opinions as I have, sometimes has a tough time blogging: so many people, so much mess, so little time. One never knows where to start, however...

There I was today, workin' from home, carin' for my sick spawn as a good mother should, when I decided to flip through the channels on my lunch break. That's when I came upon my fave soap, The Young & The Restless. I ain't watched this shit in MONTHS! Soapnet keeps changin' the air time of this wreck and I just can't keep up anymore.

Not to mention, I'm now the manager of a high-powered, kick-ass fantasy football team and don't have time to watch trashy daytime/nighttime soaps...unless it's I Love New York 2, in which case, I MAKE time. But more on my awesome FFB team later...

Like I said, while the spawn was playin' PS2 and I was innocently watchin' TV, I was thinkin' to myself, "Whatever happened to so-&-so from back in the Y&R day?", with no intention of bloggin' tonight because, well, I just can't decide who'd I like to be my next sharp-tongued target.

So I jumped on my home computer during the noon hour and this vision of loveliness appeared on my screen: Gloria Fisher-Abbott from Y&R.

With all due respect to my non-judgin' grand-momma: MOTHER FUCKER!

What did my eyes ever do to you, Joan Van Ark?! What did they do to deserve this?! They are now layin', bloodied, on the floor.

Knots Landing alums Donna Mills & JVA (allegedly) filmed spots on Nip/Tuck this past week.

How many times do I have to tell you bitches, Nip/Tuck is a fictional TV show! Sean McNamara & Christian Troy are NOT real plastic surgeons! I thought y'all mighta learned somethin' from this horrific mess!

Reporter Janet Charlton had this to say about JVA's visit to the set: "There was endless hair and makeup preparation, and a setsider noted that the only things rail-thin Joan consumed all day were several glasses of water with honey and one banana. But most frustrating was the fact that it took FOUR hours to light Joan to her complete satisfaction. That's longer than it takes to have a facelift AND liposuction."

Banana, my ass! That ho looks like she gave a free blowjob to a blueberry from the catering truck! What the hell kinda procedure ends with a blue muzzle?

I've heard electrolysis ain't no joke, but even this Tinseltown dinosaur should know not to go out in public 15 minutes after an electro session! DAYUM!

If my momma was dead, she'd be rollin' over in her grave, Valene Ewing. What did you do to yourself? You know Gary ain't gonna be happy to see your blue-faced ass!





Aside from the blueberry fellatio, what's up with the rusty brows & eyeliner?! Sister, yo' roots ain't even that color, and that ain't NO natural color found under the sun created by the Holy Maker himself.

If I were you, I'd lose the number to Michael Jackson's dermatologist. His ass ain't nothin' but trouble, TRUST!

Oh, and, by the way, I might pick up some Mineral Veil to hide that shine. But that's just me...