HE'S 2007's Sexiest Man Alive?!?!

So, there I was, gettin' my beauty on at the hair salon today and I see People's Sexiest Man Alive issue layin' around. I couldn't get past the "winner" on the cover so I never even opened it up. Who the hell votes on this shit?

Matt Damon used to be sexy back in the day -- like back in the Bourne Identity days. But now he's just lookin' like a used up condom. I think his wifey's sucked the hot out of him.



Hell, Robin Roberts is a Sexier Man Alive than MD! I kid! I love Robin.

Anyhoo, a quick Google search revealed the long list of almost-winners and I coulda picked about 200 hotter men than Matt Damon!

For starters, Brad Pitt. That man tops *every* list as far as I'm concerned. I mean, just LOOK at him. I've never seen a man so lovely.



And there were a million people on that list that I'd never even heard of. I guess I'm too busy watchin' I Love New York and Little People Big World to know who the hell Seth Gabel and Penn Badgley are.

I don't know if any of these yayhoos are even on the People list, but I don't give a damn. This is my chance to post about hot boys.

My votes woulda been for Dave Annable (hell, that hot bitch in the pic with him is sexier than Matt Damon):



David Beckham:



Taye Diggs' Brown Sugar Ass:



Tim Daly (oh how I miss Wings!):



Shemar Moore:



Prince Harry and his Ginger locks:



Tim Gunn (Make it Work!):



Justin Chambers:



Ryan Reynolds (I'll even forget that he's Canadian for a minute). And I mean the HOT version of Ryan Reynolds, not the skinny Al Borland from Home Improvement version:



Adam Levine (I don't care if he *is* a tool):



Peter Krause (I miss Nate Fisher!):



Josh Duhamel (I'll even forgive him for pokin' Fuggy Fug all these years). I mean, look at that hot piece! DAYUM!:



Shit, I'd even take Joel McHale over Matt Damon:



And on a side note, why the hell is Justin Timberlake makin' any Sexiest lists? He aint' NO kind of sexy. He looks like a poor man's Robin Thicke in a bad holiday velvet ascot. TRUST!



C'MON People magazine! You better bring the *real* hotness next year!

Yea, in case you can't tell, I'm not too thrilled with People's winner this year, but in reality, I really don't give two shits.

Oh, and speakin' of Little People Big World, why the hell wasn't Jeremy Roloff on that list?! He's 19 now, he's legal!